Ref4Me

Things that players say

zarathustra

RefChat Addict
Level 6 Referee
Had a game today, and went much better than my last outing.

The weather was miserable and the away team were getting soundly thrashed, but there players game out with some weird and wonderful stuff.

They tried telling me that there was a new “rule” that a player can’t score a rebound from a penalty.

Then they tried telling me that when sin binning a player you have to show an “orange” card.

Then I was accused of ruining the game and making it all about me when I was checking names of subs when players are coming on and off.

Generally when players are compliant for about stupid things like this I take it that I haven’t been really terrible.

What other crazy things have players tried saying to you in your games?
 
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wazztie16

Level 7 Referee
Level 7 Referee
I sent a player off for a second yellow in the 89th minute at Sunday league, I had players telling I couldn't do that because it was Sunday league...

Maybe they're used to last weeks ref.
 

Anubis

RefChat Addict
Had a game today, and went much better than my last outing.

The weather was miserable and the away team were getting soundly thrashed, but there players game out with some weird and wonderful stuff.

They tried telling me that there was a new “rule” that a player can’t score a rebound from a penalty.

Then they tried telling me that when sin binning a player you have to show an “orange” card.

Then I was accused of ruining the game and making it all about me when I was checking names of subs when players are coming on and off.

Generally when players are compliant for about stupid things like this I take it that I haven’t been really terrible.

What other crazy things have players tried saying to you in your games?

I had the cant score from a pk rebound a few year ago...
thing is, in that afternoons live tv game, a pk was scored from a rebound!
before i had even considered texting the coach my phone buzzed and it said, sorry ref, sitting with some of the guys watching the game, pen scored from rebound.
 

zarathustra

RefChat Addict
Level 6 Referee
I had the cant score from a pk rebound a few year ago...
thing is, in that afternoons live tv game, a pk was scored from a rebound!
before i had even considered texting the coach my phone buzzed and it said, sorry ref, sitting with some of the guys watching the game, pen scored from rebound.
I have to admit it threw me at first, as I wasn’t sure what they were going on about.

I suspect all of their wittering on was intended to try and make me doubt myself, or to try and trick me into giving decisions that shouldn’t be.

But as I informed their captain, I was born at night, but not last night.
 

Anubis

RefChat Addict
I have to admit it threw me at first, as I wasn’t sure what they were going on about.

I suspect all of their wittering on was intended to try and make me doubt myself, or to try and trick me into giving decisions that shouldn’t be.

But as I informed their captain, I was born at night, but not last night.

that was me also! There was such a fuss that I did frantically rattle my brain into action, I stood firm tho.
The guys next text cleared it up, yip they had a pk rebound disallowed the week before, altho of course I will never know what happened.
 

PP62

Well-Known Member
Level 5 Referee
I sin binned a player a few weeks back for telling me how rubbish I was. I still don't know how I managed to keep my mouth shut; they were 2-0 down, both were own goals and they had missed a penalty, but I was rubbish!
 

es1

RefChat Addict
Level 4 Referee
Yesterday a player said I'm not sure how you can sleep after a performance like that. I'll sleep like a f*****g log pal, the kids are at the in laws 😀
 

Anubis

RefChat Addict
Probably the ball came back off the frame of the goal and the penalty kicker touched it a second time before any other player had touched it.

yip who knows, it is of course possible some ref did disallow a gk rebound, the weird and wonderful ways
 

JamesL

RefChat Addict
Level 4 Referee
Gave a foul midweek. Matey comes in and boots the ball away in anger. Caution, dissent, sin bin.
Cue "that's not dissent ref, he didn't even swear" and "how is kicking the ball away dissent"?
Riiiight?
 

Ben448844

RefChat Addict
Level 5 Referee
Manager came on after a County League game 2 weeks ago and said he wanted to talk to me. "No problems, happy to chat". "That decision was **** etc", "Happy to talk respectively with anyone but I'm not just going to be shouted at, upto you", "you're just arrogant and you've clearly never played the game", "Yes I have and I'm happy to talk about that in the bar", "you're lying, no one who's played thinks that foul at the end is a yellow card". "OK" and just walk off. A rubbish example but I always give any angry manager who wants to chat on the pitch an opportunity to speak to me without screaming and shouting but as soon as they carry that on then I just leave. Sometimes they'll calm down and we will have a decent conversation in the bar afterwards and both accept that we think the other is wrong but at least we've chatted about it which makes them feel a bit better, but never get into long debates immediately after the whistle. Learnt that at Sunday League early on when I thought I could manage everything, there's just too much emotion at that time. But leave the olive branch out for a talk later, it often helps but certainly not always. But I do give them an opportunity with a warning including, just like when there's dissent. It's a stepped approach and many people will have a more sensible chat with you even if there's negative undertones, it's amicable and helps going forward.
 

brimac

New Member
Level 6 Referee
Had one two weeks ago. Ball played over the top, forward is chasing it, keeper comes running out, he slices the ball out to the wing, then cleans out the forward. Just about to blow for free kick, another forward, without breaking stride, fires the ball into the net. Apparently the goal cannot stand because 1)"our goalkeeper fouled him so it's a free kick" and 2) "it can't be a goal because our keeper was out of his area"
 

one

RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
Manager came on after a County League game 2 weeks ago and said he wanted to talk to me. "No problems, happy to chat". "That decision was **** etc", "Happy to talk respectively with anyone but I'm not just going to be shouted at, upto you", "you're just arrogant and you've clearly never played the game", "Yes I have and I'm happy to talk about that in the bar", "you're lying, no one who's played thinks that foul at the end is a yellow card". "OK" and just walk off. A rubbish example but I always give any angry manager who wants to chat on the pitch an opportunity to speak to me without screaming and shouting but as soon as they carry that on then I just leave. Sometimes they'll calm down and we will have a decent conversation in the bar afterwards and both accept that we think the other is wrong but at least we've chatted about it which makes them feel a bit better, but never get into long debates immediately after the whistle. Learnt that at Sunday League early on when I thought I could manage everything, there's just too much emotion at that time. But leave the olive branch out for a talk later, it often helps but certainly not always. But I do give them an opportunity with a warning including, just like when there's dissent. It's a stepped approach and many people will have a more sensible chat with you even if there's negative undertones, it's amicable and helps going forward.
I can't help but offer a somewhat different approach to try. I feel that you had already gone past the point of "crossing the line" with this manager.
"Can I ask a question" or "can I talk to you" is very common after full-time from disgruntled managers or players. We all know what's coming 90% of times so a preemptive answer can make it easer to walk off if needed. It should never get into 'defending' our decisions or ability. But as professionals we should be able explain why we made the decisions we did (right, wrong or just indifferent). "Sure happy to answer questions but I wouldn't like to get into a debate." One questions, one explanation. Any follow up makes it a debate. Any remarks regarding your ability, or any questions asked aggressively or abusively does not deserve an answer. I would simply walk off at that point and if anything is reportable, I would report it.
 

Ben448844

RefChat Addict
Level 5 Referee
I can't help but offer a somewhat different approach to try. I feel that you had already gone past the point of "crossing the line" with this manager.
"Can I ask a question" or "can I talk to you" is very common after full-time from disgruntled managers or players. We all know what's coming 90% of times so a preemptive answer can make it easer to walk off if needed. It should never get into 'defending' our decisions or ability. But as professionals we should be able explain why we made the decisions we did (right, wrong or just indifferent). "Sure happy to answer questions but I wouldn't like to get into a debate." One questions, one explanation. Any follow up makes it a debate. Any remarks regarding your ability, or any questions asked aggressively or abusively does not deserve an answer. I would simply walk off at that point and if anything is reportable, I would report it.

I did walk off. But when he first started shouted I clearly told him that I would have a respectful conversation but it has to be that. He toned it down a little but still not how it should be so off I popped. For me that's the key, give the opportunity for a chat but with the proviso that it has to be respectful and if it isn't then off you go. If there's further conversation afterwards the fact that you gave them the option helps in future conversations, not always of course. I've had a couple of very good chats 20 mins after full time with managers who were not being respectful at full time. Usually ends with a handshake and an agreement to disagree but move on. Helpful when you meet again. Not always of course and that's not a problem. Been around long enough now to read a room so to speak.
 

Big Cat

RefChat Addict
Level 5 Referee
I did walk off. But when he first started shouted I clearly told him that I would have a respectful conversation but it has to be that. He toned it down a little but still not how it should be so off I popped. For me that's the key, give the opportunity for a chat but with the proviso that it has to be respectful and if it isn't then off you go. If there's further conversation afterwards the fact that you gave them the option helps in future conversations, not always of course. I've had a couple of very good chats 20 mins after full time with managers who were not being respectful at full time. Usually ends with a handshake and an agreement to disagree but move on. Helpful when you meet again. Not always of course and that's not a problem. Been around long enough now to read a room so to speak.
I wouldn't be willing to talk on the FOP other than to say, 'give us 5 (or more depending on level the game) mins please to get off the pitch and we'll talk then'. Or similar
 

socal lurker

RefChat Addict
I did walk off. But when he first started shouted I clearly told him that I would have a respectful conversation but it has to be that. He toned it down a little but still not how it should be so off I popped. For me that's the key, give the opportunity for a chat but with the proviso that it has to be respectful and if it isn't then off you go. If there's further conversation afterwards the fact that you gave them the option helps in future conversations, not always of course. I've had a couple of very good chats 20 mins after full time with managers who were not being respectful at full time. Usually ends with a handshake and an agreement to disagree but move on. Helpful when you meet again. Not always of course and that's not a problem. Been around long enough now to read a room so to speak.
For me,that conversation went way past respectful.
 
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Gamespoiler

Active Member
Level 7 Referee
Let me get this clear. Are you asking me to change my previous decision during the game that has now finished?

Or

Just so we're clear, are you asking me not to put that booking in?

I use that when the coach is confrontational or touching on the aggressive side. It usually works, they tend to shut up and walk away. Sometimes though, they just aren't aware of the reason for the decision under the laws of the game and a calm demeaner and clear explanation can defuse the situation. I had this yesterday funnily enough, great game, open age, 2 2 with 10 minutes left. Attacker in an offside position. Ball played forward but went at pace to a defender who stuck his foot out, deliberately played the ball but mis-kicked it straight into the path of the offside attacker who scored. Not everyone saw the defender touch the ball but I was fortunate enough to be in the perfect position to see it. Had chaos for the last 10 minutes which resulted in 2 players being sin-binned and the coach being shown a yellow card. They just didn't want to hear about the explanation and every time I spoke, they shouted over me.

When the game was eventually over and everyone had walked off the pitch, I was able to talk to another coach about the decision explaining it wasn't an offence to be in an offside position and that his own player had deliberately played at the ball passing it to the attacker hence play on.

He was fine about it and accepted it and apologised about his players and other coach. Still didn't hear from the other coach or players though.

It's a tough job and soul destroying at times
 

QuaverRef

I used to be indecisive but now i'm not so sure
Gave a foul midweek. Matey comes in and boots the ball away in anger. Caution, dissent, sin bin.
Cue "that's not dissent ref, he didn't even swear" and "how is kicking the ball away dissent"?
Riiiight?
‘I didn’t swear at you’ is always a favourite of mine when I’m warning a player.
 
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