RefSix

Sunday’s game !!!!!!

Zimmyman

Active Member
#1
Ok it’s been said to me that I seem to be to combative with managers on this forum !!!!
And I have taken heed of that ! But Sunday’s game U14 A division football title game for one team ! Game starts great football being played by both teams ! Then 10 minutes in it starts home team manager screaming at me because of calls against his side I am apparently not giving ( this is the team that does not need the points for the title by the way) I was in my opinion in full control of a good game of football ! More screaming and shouting with the F word thrown in ! So I go over to say to him calm down this is met by more derision from him
Half time comes I’m getting a drink on a hot day and over he comes really aggressive and starts again I said that I don’t want to talk to him and I’m them met who do you think you F—kin are god
I said no but I’m having a break and I don’t want to talk bearing in mind how hostile he was he then says it’s league rules that we can talk to refs at half time he said read the league rule book lol
Game restarts with him saying to his team you are playing against 12 men and I’m the worst ref ever etc ! Then I give a penalty against his team who were losing 0-1
Then more swearing and ranting so I said you’ll have to leave the area I’m not having this behaviour and language in front of boys who are just enjoying there game ! He would not go so I threaten abandoning but the boys all of them were having a great enjoyable game ! So I finally got rid of him getting applause from the away players saying well done ref but not sarcastically they meant it
Manager goes to top of pavilion and still counties his tirade game stops again I won’t abandon for the boys sake ! Fortunately the club chairman was there and said he would keep him away !!
Game continues away team win the tile and game
I did not have to speak to any player during the game no cautions etc the boys in both teams were a credit with only around 6 fouls in the whole game !! So the question is am I to combative as a ref against managers that act this way or does one roll over and let them do what they want to us ???
 

Nij

New Member
#2
You did roll over and let him do what he wanted.
You said you didn't want to talk, but then kept up the argument, which by definition you lost (because the only way to win is not to play at all).
You say you weren't having this behaviour, but you let it continue well into the second half, after multiple warnings.

Next time make it clear that the behaviour is not acceptable, and if it doesn't stop, do something about it. There's nothing combative about a professional manner - so perhaps you need to think about the way you do things, not just what things they are?
 

Kes

I'll Decide ...
#3
Your profile still shows you as a level 9.

Are you not a Level 7/8 yet and how old are you?

Based on what you're writing, it sounds as if you dealt appropriately with the situation, which must have been difficult for you.

Is it possible that you were letting a lot go that maybe you should have been penalising? Perhaps that's what incensed the other team's coach?
By your own admission, only 6 fouls committed during the 70 mins is pretty low - even for a bunch of 13 year olds. Maybe not.

You already know the answer to your final question. It's not a question of either being "combative" or "rolling over". It's about managing a situation and/or abuse. Technically, you've acted correctly. :cool:
 

Zimmyman

Active Member
#4
Your profile still shows you as a level 9.

Are you not a Level 7/8 yet and how old are you?

Based on what you're writing, it sounds as if you dealt appropriately with the situation, which must have been difficult for you.

Is it possible that you were letting a lot go that maybe you should have been penalising? Perhaps that's what incensed the other team's coach?
By your own admission, only 6 fouls committed during the 70 mins is pretty low - even for a bunch of 13 year olds. Maybe not.

You already know the answer to your final question. It's not a question of either being "combative" or "rolling over". It's about managing a situation and/or abuse. Technically, you've acted correctly. :cool:
Hi level 7 and a lot I’m in my sixties ! The game was good enough and played well that I did not have to give many calls the other teams manager had no problem with me at all it was just one very rude loud manager if he does not like my calls or no calls there is a calmer way to approach me yes !! His behaviour was filtering through to the game I did not dismiss him earlier as I did want to see if he calmed down thank you for your reply
 

Zimmyman

Active Member
#5
You did roll over and let him do what he wanted.
You said you didn't want to talk, but then kept up the argument, which by definition you lost (because the only way to win is not to play at all).
You say you weren't having this behaviour, but you let it continue well into the second half, after multiple warnings.

Next time make it clear that the behaviour is not acceptable, and if it doesn't stop, do something about it. There's nothing combative about a professional manner - so perhaps you need to think about the way you do things, not just what things they are?
He never kept any argument up at all as I would not let him ! So how can you say he won ? I warned him once in the first half then sent him away early in the second half i needed to give him a bit of a chance I felt I had full control particularly as the game turned out better when he was gone i just wanted a constructive opinion and unfortunately yours did not help me but thank you for your reply and input
 

Cheshire Ref

RefChat Addict
#6
Personally this guys going at half time, he has had his warning and then approached you at half time, aggressively and saying things like "who do you think you are fu-n god?" At that point i would tell him that he is to leave the technical area and not return.

The guy sounds like an absolute plant pot and shouldn't be anywhere near junior football or any football for that matter.
 

Nij

New Member
#7
He never kept any argument up at all as I would not let him ! So how can you say he won ? I warned him once in the first half then sent him away early in the second half i needed to give him a bit of a chance I felt I had full control particularly as the game turned out better when he was gone i just wanted a constructive opinion and unfortunately yours did not help me but thank you for your reply and input
The fact that he was still there in the second half means you let him keep arguing about your decisions.
As I wrote, if you want to say you're not having it, don't have it. The guy should have gone after his first half OFFINABUS, if not his halftime sequel.
 

one

RefChat Addict
#8
Ok it’s been said to me that I seem to be to combative with managers on this forum !!!!
And I have taken heed of that ! But Sunday’s game U14 A division football title game for one team ! Game starts great football being played by both teams ! Then 10 minutes in it starts home team manager screaming at me because of calls against his side I am apparently not giving ( this is the team that does not need the points for the title by the way) I was in my opinion in full control of a good game of football ! More screaming and shouting with the F word thrown in ! So I go over to say to him calm down this is met by more derision from him
Half time comes I’m getting a drink on a hot day and over he comes really aggressive and starts again I said that I don’t want to talk to him and I’m them met who do you think you F—kin are god
I said no but I’m having a break and I don’t want to talk bearing in mind how hostile he was he then says it’s league rules that we can talk to refs at half time he said read the league rule book lol
Game restarts with him saying to his team you are playing against 12 men and I’m the worst ref ever etc ! Then I give a penalty against his team who were losing 0-1
Then more swearing and ranting so I said you’ll have to leave the area I’m not having this behaviour and language in front of boys who are just enjoying there game ! He would not go so I threaten abandoning but the boys all of them were having a great enjoyable game ! So I finally got rid of him getting applause from the away players saying well done ref but not sarcastically they meant it
Manager goes to top of pavilion and still counties his tirade game stops again I won’t abandon for the boys sake ! Fortunately the club chairman was there and said he would keep him away !!
Game continues away team win the tile and game
I did not have to speak to any player during the game no cautions etc the boys in both teams were a credit with only around 6 fouls in the whole game !! So the question is am I to combative as a ref against managers that act this way or does one roll over and let them do what they want to us ???
Zimmy, not being combative doesn't mean taking rubbish from managers and letting them get away with what they want. It means being calm (which sounds like you were) and not going tit for tat with the manager.

Dealing with managers is a simple process. First sign of misbehaving, you nicely 'ask' them to behave. A repeat and you firmly but calmly 'tell' them to behave or they will be dismissed. Another repeat and you 'remove' them form the area. You don't have to go through all of 'ask', 'tell', 'remove'. You can jump to 'tell' or 'remove' directly depending on the severity.

So in your case, the first 'screaming' should have been 'ask'. "More screaming and shouting with the F word thrown in" should have been 'tell' (or possibly 'remove'). And "more derision from him" should have been 'remove'.

On Sunday I had an assistant manager who told me to shut up when I 'told' the bench that only one person can be standing and giving instructions (there was an earlier 'ask'). Quick blow of the whistle and point to the stands. He left still whinging but no argument from anyone else.

Being at your/our age when you are settled in the way you deal with things, it's hard to change it. Kudos for trying. The more you follow the stepped process above, the easier it gets.
 
Last edited:

deusex

RefChat Addict
#10
Well done for getting rid of him.
The only development point I have is that he should have gone sooner!
I like to always at least get in "your next comment that could in ANY way be conceived as negative toward me will force me to have you leave the vicinity". That way when they can't help themselves 5 mins later EVERYONE knows I have him a chance to keep his mouth shut.
Well done again for not bottling it like most would have
 
#11
Zimmyman, did you submit a misconduct report to your county FA? I am surprised that I am the first one to ask.

And, of course, from next season you will be able to issue yellow and red cards to coaches.
 
Last edited:

Big Cat

RefChat Addict
#12
Ok it’s been said to me that I seem to be to combative with managers on this forum !!!!
And I have taken heed of that ! But Sunday’s game U14 A division football title game for one team ! Game starts great football being played by both teams ! Then 10 minutes in it starts home team manager screaming at me because of calls against his side I am apparently not giving ( this is the team that does not need the points for the title by the way) I was in my opinion in full control of a good game of football ! More screaming and shouting with the F word thrown in ! So I go over to say to him calm down this is met by more derision from him
Half time comes I’m getting a drink on a hot day and over he comes really aggressive and starts again I said that I don’t want to talk to him and I’m them met who do you think you F—kin are god
I said no but I’m having a break and I don’t want to talk bearing in mind how hostile he was he then says it’s league rules that we can talk to refs at half time he said read the league rule book lol
Game restarts with him saying to his team you are playing against 12 men and I’m the worst ref ever etc ! Then I give a penalty against his team who were losing 0-1
Then more swearing and ranting so I said you’ll have to leave the area I’m not having this behaviour and language in front of boys who are just enjoying there game ! He would not go so I threaten abandoning but the boys all of them were having a great enjoyable game ! So I finally got rid of him getting applause from the away players saying well done ref but not sarcastically they meant it
Manager goes to top of pavilion and still counties his tirade game stops again I won’t abandon for the boys sake ! Fortunately the club chairman was there and said he would keep him away !!
Game continues away team win the tile and game
I did not have to speak to any player during the game no cautions etc the boys in both teams were a credit with only around 6 fouls in the whole game !! So the question is am I to combative as a ref against managers that act this way or does one roll over and let them do what they want to us ???
Zimmy, the concern is that these incidents are recurrent. Not sure what else to say really
 

socal lurker

Well-Known Member
#13
I like to always at least get in "your next comment that could in ANY way be conceived as negative toward me will force me to have you leave the vicinity". That way when they can't help themselves 5 mins later EVERYONE knows I have him a chance to keep his mouth shut.
I don't agree with this advice. IMHO, we never want to box ourselves in. The language @deusex uses is better than "one more word," but can still be a bit of a box. If something minor is said that you don't want to toss for, you look like you aren't following through.
 
#14
Zimmyman, did you submit a misconduct report to your county FA? I am surprised that I am the first one to ask.

And, of course, from next season you will be able to issue yellow and red cards to coaches.
LOAFer yes proper report went in via the whole game but one always wonders what will actually happen if at all as I have just found out he did the same thing to another match official earlier in season
 

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
#15
I’d of sacked off multitudes of coaches with cards in my time. You could read who were going to be bother, most were repeat offenders.

Strangely I still have 4-5 on my FB, since we all finished I’ve had a few different conversations and off duty we were all pulling the way we wanted, it just wasn’t the same way! 🍻💕
 
#16
LOAFer yes proper report went in via the whole game but one always wonders what will actually happen if at all as I have just found out he did the same thing to another match official earlier in season
The key point is that a report went into your County FA. You have done all that you are obliged to do. Maybe the other incident was not reported. Or that it was and it will be considered alongside the one you submitted. What would have been unacceptable is if this had not been reported.
 
Top