RefSix

Pre season friendly

Chrisp72

Always smiling
Level 7 Referee
Hi guys my first pre season friendly Sunday gone (open age ) which I don’t usually do due to experience in the past of anything but friendly ! 83rd minute whites 3-2 down put ball into the box I’m convinced blues defender heads away but cries for handball from a couple of players I wave play on , a spectator from the sideline who has stood with the whites all game and is clearly known to them shouts you f****n bold C***t your F*****n S**t I stop the game and ask the whites coaches to remove the spectator they flatly refuse so I say there’s 7 minutes left if he goes we carry on if he doesn’t I will abandon the game , players and coaches then say well finish the game then because we are not moving him. Blow my whistle to end the game spectator then gives me another mouthful of aggressive abuse I pick up my belongings and start to leave the field,the white manager / coaches then follow me saying they don’t know who he is so can’t remove him which was clearly a complete lie with that comes pleading with me not to report it . Two of the blues then come over to the group with the abusive spectator and say they think it was also handball to which sparked the whites off again following me off the field trying to justify there actions .
I was convinced there was no hand ball but maybe wrong I’m only human but don’t think whatever the case I deserved such abuse .
Can anybody advise me please if this happens again that I give a decision and stick by it for then an opposing player to agree with an opponent after play has restarted and it causes issues for me what to do or how to avoid it .
Thanks
 

Richard smith

Well-Known Member
Level 6 Referee
That should be reported you your CFA stating club and stance which you took.
The above is my opinion on how the situation described should be dealt with. I know for a fact others will disagree 😄
PS Make your decision and sit I by it.
 

RefJef

RefChat Addict
Level 6 Referee
First up, you were right to abandon the game. That abuse is not acceptable.

Easier said than done, but try not to dwell on the decision and the disagreement from both sides. I do think that there are some players who see a referee on the ropes and then just love to wade in and join in. I suspect that is what has happened here, game is over, a “nothing game” anyway, blues see whites having a pop at you so decide to come over and join in - classic pack mentality. Subconsciously, they (the blues) will be thinking if the ref is getting it, then they won’t. Plus an easy way to ingratiate themselves with the whites. Whilst blues and whites might have been “enemies” on the pitch, sadly, to too many, you, the referee are the common enemy of both blue and white, hence they have turned on you.

You didn’t see a handball, so you didn’t give a handball. You’ve done the right thing.

Also might be worth just contacting your RDO and the league secretary (for whites) who might tactfully get in touch with the team and remind them that - certainly in a league or cup game - they will have to take responsibility for their spectators.

Easy for me to say, but try and pick yourself up - you’ve made the right call, yet two days later it’s still nagging you. To me, that shows me that you really care about your role as a referee. Now is the time to move on.

Best of luck for the future - and well done for reaching out, a reminder to us all that it’s a difficult job we do and we must support each other.
 

LOAFer

New Member
Level 7 Referee
Can anybody advise me please if this happens again that I give a decision and stick by it for then an opposing player to agree with an opponent after play has restarted and it causes issues for me what to do or how to avoid it .
Thanks
Above everything else, you have done nothing wrong. Secondly, if not already done, you need to report to your County FA that you abandoned a game. Keep your report factual stating why the game was abandoned.
 

Chrisp72

Always smiling
Level 7 Referee
First up, you were right to abandon the game. That abuse is not acceptable.

Easier said than done, but try not to dwell on the decision and the disagreement from both sides. I do think that there are some players who see a referee on the ropes and then just love to wade in and join in. I suspect that is what has happened here, game is over, a “nothing game” anyway, blues see whites having a pop at you so decide to come over and join in - classic pack mentality. Subconsciously, they (the blues) will be thinking if the ref is getting it, then they won’t. Plus an easy way to ingratiate themselves with the whites. Whilst blues and whites might have been “enemies” on the pitch, sadly, to too many, you, the referee are the common enemy of both blue and white, hence they have turned on you.

You didn’t see a handball, so you didn’t give a handball. You’ve done the right thing.

Also might be worth just contacting your RDO and the league secretary (for whites) who might tactfully get in touch with the team and remind them that - certainly in a league or cup game - they will have to take responsibility for their spectators.

Easy for me to say, but try and pick yourself up - you’ve made the right call, yet two days later it’s still nagging you. To me, that shows me that you really care about your role as a referee. Now is the time to move on.

Best of luck for the future - and well done for reaching out, a reminder to us all that it’s a difficult job we do and we must support each other.
Thankyou jef really appreciate it .
 

socal lurker

RefChat Addict
I can't say anything about reporting protocols, but heck yes you did the right thing. If they can't make the setting acceptable to continue, the game can't go on. And of course missing a call is not the end of the world nor a justification for abuse. Only one suggestion, and it sounds like you are probably already doing it. Walk back through the events and ask yourself--with the benefit of hindsight--if there is anything you could have tried differently that might have helped the situation. That's not a way of saying you did something wrong, but a path forward to think about tools that maybe you could use in another situation.
 

JamesL

RefChat Addict
Level 4 Referee
Now I am not endorsing this behaviour, nor saying you did the wrong thing. In fact you did the right thing.
It is worth pointing out, rightly or wrongly, the higher up you go the more you will have to put up with this kind of behaviour from spectators.
It's just not expected for the referee to hold up a contrib or higher games for Spectators verbally abusing or giving their opinion ofa match referee. If I had a pound for evrytime I had been called a bald c u next Tuesday or similar and that I was not very good at the job I'd be a rich man.
Could you imagine... 25000 at a championship match all si going the referees a W***** and the referee running to the touchline to ask the club to ask the fans to stop.
However. At parks level its not on and in my view you handled this appropriately.
 

Big Cat

RefChat Addict
Level 6 Referee
Is this a candidate for dismissing the manager as it is he who carries the can for persons unidentified?
This is what's tough about reffing in the gutter of the game
 

alexgr

RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
Is this a candidate for dismissing the manager as it is he who carries the can for persons unidentified?
This is what's tough about reffing in the gutter of the game
No, that only applies to "team officials".
 

santa sangria

RefChat Addict
The speccy behaviour is unacceptable. Well done for handling it.

I’m interested in what happened earlier in the game. And if/why it wasn’t possible to ’sell” this decision. What happened before, were there other contested decisions, dissent, cards.., how was your communication with the players?
 

Chrisp72

Always smiling
Level 7 Referee
The speccy behaviour is unacceptable. Well done for handling it.

I’m interested in what happened earlier in the game. And if/why it wasn’t possible to ’sell” this decision. What happened before, were there other contested decisions, dissent, cards.., how was your communication with the players?
The odd moan but nothing really , wasn’t a hard game to referee up to then , players didn’t seem to really contest the decision until the spectator got abusive , he was a big old unit well over 6 ft and as wide ! The players played along with him and as I said were no way interested in asking him to leave !!
 

spuddy1878

RefChat Addict
Players dont help the situation do they ?

The side you've not given the hand ball against would have been fuming if you had given it but then decide to throw their ten pence worth in and say actually it was handball.

Friendlies can be a nightmare as managers want to pick and choose which % of the laws they want you to use.

I sin binned a player in a friendly last week and got the old "oh ffs ref its only a friendly"
 

alexgr

RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
How do we identify "team Officials" when in the gutter?
Ones named on the team sheet if team sheets are available. If not, ones in the 'technical area' (supporters will probably be on the other side of the pitch).
 

one

RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
Mate I take my hat off to you. You did us all a favour by not only not ignoring referee abuse but also helping reduce it. You had abuse from the sideline and you took correct action. They didn't respond to and you followed through what you said you'd do.

Can anybody advise me please if this happens again that I give a decision and stick by it for then an opposing player to agree with an opponent after play has restarted and it causes issues for me what to do or how to avoid it .
Thanks
In the context of your game and after you have abandoned, do nothing and walk off.

Let's say you did not abandon the game. Tell them you can only give what you see. If they are adamant for fairness their opponent should get a penalty, they can manufacture a pen if they want (pick up the ball in the area) and you would give a pen. See if they do that.
 

CanuckRef

Active Member
Level 3 Referee
No, that only applies to "team officials".
If they're stood at the bench the whole game, then they are either team officials or don't belong there. Either way, he has to move or be removed.

I will say that I agree with James -- the higher up you go, the more you're going to have to simply accept this kind of thing from spectators. Note that this is not the same for players or team officials, who cannot be allowed to behave this way. Either way, the most important thing here is to figure out why it is that you missed the handball and work on that in your next game. Was your positioning correct? If not, how can it be improved? Was it your concentration that was lacking? In other words, how can you get it right next time?
 

alexgr

RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
If they're stood at the bench the whole game, then they are either team officials or don't belong there. Either way, he has to move or be removed.
I don't disagree, merely stating that you can't dismiss the coach as the spectator is not a team official and was not stood at the bench.
 
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