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Open Age My First mens game

Robin

New Member
Level 7 Referee
I had my first mens game today which was not a great division which is understandable considering I only qualified in September so am a level 7 referee.
I have been doing alot of youth football refereeing from U7s to U18s since I qualified and have been really enjoying my refereeing but today was probably the first time I wanted it to end and end fast.

I didn't enjoy the game one bit as every decision whether wrong or right was moaned about.The same fouls over and over, tackles and hands in the back are the most common moans and it really makes you doubt yourself and your decisions because of all the moaning.

Players were moaning and saying thats part of the game but its not really enjoyable sometimes.

Is this normal for mens football to feel this way in your first game in mens football?
Is there way to get more respect or little tips to make sure games flow?
 
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Robin

Well done for completing your first adult game, unfortunately this usually is the norm as players moan to us to hide their own incapabilities as footballers. Please dont let this stop you put it in the back of your mind and move on the more experienced the more u learn just to stand by your decisions and if they dont like it shove a yellow at them to shut up or even a red if the language is a bit colourfull.
 
Sorry to hear you've had a bad experience today, as a fellow 'newbie' as I only qualified in November and refereeing open age myself I can give you a few tips.

There is a lot of 'in the back, ref' that comes up, just ignore it, and don't let it influence your decisions. If you think its a foul, give it, if not don't. You can also get past some of the whining about decisions by moving to position for the next phase of play. That way if players want to continue the discussion they have to run towards you to do it, if they do it, it's easier to sell a card for dissent.

If you think players are getting a little vocal, you can have a word with them, just tell them to calm it down.

It's important to exude confidence, even if you are not feeling it inwardly. Also worth seeing if you can get someone down to watch from the sidelines to give you a bit of moral support, or advice if they are also a qualified ref.
 
OK, looking from 'the other side' here are 22 players, who have been in the game in good while, who get a guy in the middle who they've never seen before?

THey are going to push your boundaries, whether or not they are aware it's your first OA game. They will try and play the ref, to see if you are malleable or not. 'In the back ref' is something you will hear a lot of, but once they begin to realise that you give what YOU see, and nothing else, generally they will get on with the game.

Look confident, and avoid getting drawn into the 'discussion' of whether it was a foul or not, and do the best you can. Pretty soon you will build a reputation around the leagues of being a fair ref, who is strong when needed.
 
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The moaning is just part of the game at this level, 22 players and sidelines who will rarely all agree 100% that you are correct.

I qualified last year after playing for 20+ And basically ignore it and give what I see.

Even through the moaning players generally appreciate having a referee at the Lower levels, even if they consider that you were wrong, stay strong, be confident, show cards when required.

I had a similar game yesterday, gave cards early, good game then until a red in the 88th minute.

The winning team thought Imhad a good game, the losers thought I was blind.
 
Thought I had a doppelganger for a moment there!

Like Robin, I refereed my first 'Open Age' game today, in the West Sussex F.L. Division Three North, after a year and about 60 matches of youth, schools and college football.

Whilst I wasn't 'wanting it to end and end fast' it was certainly different in several ways to what I had been used to before then.

No 'crowd' for starters...possibly one man and his dog in the second half. It was also hot and I caught the sun, which I can't recall happening for quite some time.

The league require teams to have changing rooms, referees changing rooms and toilet facilities so that was different, too. Trying to decide when and where was the best time to do studs and jewellery meant that i didn't do it at all.....good job I wasn't being assessed

Lots of talking and shouting and calls of encouragement amongst the players, a fair bit of swearing too. I can't quite believe that I didn't do more than ask a player to calm down and watch his language when he called an opposition player a 'dickhead' - i hadn't picked up on what came before that comment. I did eventually caution the same player later in the match when he complained more than once, very loudly from distance, about the fact that the other team had stolen at least 20 yards at a throw-in, a throw-in that i was happy for them to take from the position that they were taking it.

Couldn't quite believe that i had the 'player relieving himself by the side of the pitch at half-time' scenario, discussed at length on another thread. No-one but a sub from his side and then me, wandering over towards the half way line in the near vicinity at the time and he was being as discreet and someone taking a pee in the middle of a public playing field could be but beyond suggesting that next time he might want to consider using the toilets in the clubhouse, which were only about 60 yards away, I took no action. Perhaps, next time, a 'my word, that was an expensive wee' as i caution him or even a sending off, depending on the circumstances, will be my preferred approach.

Someone commented, in a nice way, about the number of drop balls during the game, i think there were three, possibly four. We're taught to err on the side of caution where injuries are concerned at youth level so getting in to the habit of letting play carry on until the ball goes out of play unless I decide that it is a serious injury may take a little time to get used to.

Lots of other bits n pieces - all part of the learning experience and, whilst I wasn't wildly excited about some of my decision making I got enough 'well done, ref' type comments at the end of the game to realise that it hadn't been so bad. I tried my best and that's all I ever ask of myself.

I'm sure that It will get better, Robin, the more games you referee at this level. Just give yourself a little time to get used to the changes and to decide how you are going to set about refereeing them and I hope that your disillusionment will gradually dissipate.
 
This is an area which the ref training does not prepare you for! First adult game!

Much like MOTW above, confidence is key and you will learn tricks and tips as you go along to mediate the moaning, you will also learn to filter most of it out and focus on the game.

Little tips which help a lot (at least they helped me):

* whether or not you are in the best position at the time of the offence (better to be in a good position obviously, this will come with practice) when you blow the whistle get to the area of the offence ASAP. Players are less likely to moan if you are standing right next to them at the scene of the crime so to speak.

* once you have given the foul - get out of there! start moving to your next position ready for play to restart. If you stay at the scene of the crime, you will get moaned at. A player who chases you 30 yards to your next position ready for the free kick to be taken will be running well out of position. If they chase you and argue the decision they are also begging for a caution for dissent. Not to say you go straight to the pocket, a quick lets get on with he game or reminding them they are running very much out of position will sometimes do the trick (or use the next point below). If they chase you 30 yards and you do decide to caution, chances are nobody will complain, make sure to use use your hands to publicly show that they have run after you from the spot of the incident.

* be proactive! if you are getting a lot of moaning which you think is going to continue - at a break in play, stop the game, call the player over with his captain and give a very public dressing down with a calm voice with lots of hand movement to indicate where on the pitch they have been moaning, with the universal hand motion for "no more" so everyone sees it. "I am trying to be patient, but anymore of this and I will be thinking of going to the pocket" thank the captain, let's get on with the game. Amazing how often the player you give the taking to will apologise a couple of minutes later. Smart players will appreciate that you have done them a favour rather than just caution them.

* don't fall into the trap of using cards as your main way of maintaining match control. Well timed and earned cautions etc are sometimes essential (and expected by players), but once you start tossing out lemons for dissent you set the bar for the rest of the game.

if you want to learn more about projecting confidence, have a look at the TED lectures on confidence. Very interesting 15 minute talk. Fake it until you are it! (That will make sense if you watch the lecture)
 
@Robin don't let this one game put you off refereeing adult football and potential promotion.

I started refereeing 2 years ago straight into adult football, no experience of refereeing at all apart from on the course.

I was mullered left, right and centre by both teams for every decision I made, whether it was right or wrong including an apparent referee assessor from one of the teams. I seriously considered giving up there and then as I didn't want to face the constant abuse of my decisions week in week out. After speaking to a few people including the referee secretary on the league they persuaded me to stick at it.

Two weeks later I was appointed to a game with one of the original teams that were giving me so much grief again the same "assessor" was playing. I suffered a similar amount of "abuse" but after the game the "assessor" came up to me and said that I had improved a hell of a lot from my first game, cue the massive ego boost I needed to keep going.

Here I am 2 years later going for promotion either 7-6 or 6-5 depending on the outcome of the promotion season that has just closed. I wouldn't be where I am today without the advice and support of other referees both local to me or being on RefChat.

People are out there that can support you never give up :)
 
As above, don't let this one game put you off. There's plenty of support out there should you need it.

Players will always try to push their luck, and see how far they can push you, don't be shy to give then a public dressing down and a card if it warrants it.
 
Welcome to adult football and congratulations on completing it! Might I offer a suggestion? Consider your tolerance level: adults like to be able to put a bit more stick about it than the youths do so consider letting them have a bit more space. Go out and watch some more experienced colleagues officiate in matches to get an idea for what could be acceptable.
 
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Thanks to everyone for the advice.

I had my first Sunday league mens game this morning and was expecting it to be worst than my first game yesterday but today was absolutely awesome, both captains helped me as they shut the players up over my decisions and just let me get on with it.

I do understand I will gain more confidence and experience along the way but after yesterdays game I didn't ever want to referee again but I got back on the horse and did my game this morning and loved it again.
 
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