A&H

Manager dissmissal

Z

Zimmyman

Well-Known Member
Two games on Sunday under 11s breeze through !! Then I do under 12s the team favourite to win 2nd in the table are two down in 15 minutes !! No fouls etc just yet then I see a small push which was nothing for me to blow for !! With this the losing team number 2 goes ballistic screaming and shouting about the foul it wasn’t like anyone’s legs were taken away ! I went over to him to tell him to calm down but he just kept on so loud that I said this is filtering through to the boys and he has to leave the area which he reluctantly did
Five minutes later I had the manager giving the same vitriol I warned him he would go the same way as his number two so he says ok shakes my hand then calms down!
The game continues no cards at all 3 fouls but the team are now losing by 4 goals and don’t like it
4 minutes to go a few tackles but nothing then I miss the manager asking for a sub
So play continues ! With the ball out of play I get the manager screaming and shouting he wants a word he even encroached onto the pitch his language was atrocious so I said sorry you will have to leave the area which led to more abuse and he said he wasn’t moving so with three minutes left I abandoned the game as it was getting tense
I must say this has knocked my confidence so much I came home Sunday from which should have been an enjoyable experience to feeling gutted and do I carry on ?
Also I feel for the team that was winning that they may have to replay and could I have handled better ? Now I’m so worried about my next game that it is actually making me feel ill !
 
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Zimmyman said:
Two games on Sunday under 11s breeze through !! Then I do under 12s the team favourite to win 2nd in the table are two down in 15 minutes !! No fouls etc just yet then I see a small push which was nothing for me to blow for !! With this the losing team number 2 goes ballistic screaming and shouting about the foul it wasn’t like anyone’s legs were taken away ! I went over to him to tell him to calm down but he just kept on so loud that I said this is filtering through to the boys and he has to leave the area which he reluctantly did
Five minutes later I had the manager giving the same vitriol I warned him he would go the same way as his number two so he says ok shakes my hand then calms down!
The game continues no cards at all 3 fouls but the team are now losing by 4 goals and don’t like it
4 minutes to go a few tackles but nothing then I miss the manager asking for a sub
So play continues ! With the ball out of play I get the manager screaming and shouting he wants a word he even encroached onto the pitch his language was atrocious so I said sorry you will have to leave the area which led to more abuse and he said he wasn’t moving so with three minutes left I abandoned the game as it was getting tense
I must say this has knocked my confidence so much I came home Sunday from which should have been an enjoyable experience to feeling gutted and do I carry on ?
Also I feel for the team that was winning that they may have to replay and could I have handled better ? Now I’m so worried about my next game that it is actually making me feel ill !
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Good on you for removing them, from what I've seen I feel we let coaches/managers get away with murder. And as you said, they act like that then the kids inevitably end up doing the same. I've removed one manager before, and I felt it knocked my confidence to. So I asked our appointments secretary to give me every single one of their games if possible. I've not heard a peep from him since in any game.

I can't speak for your league rules but for an U12 score to stand after an abandonment here, only 50 minutes in total needs to be played so should be no need to replay the remaining.

In regards to if you could have done anything better, nitpicking I wouldn't say sorry in "sorry you will have to leave the area". If anything he should be apologising to everyone there for his behaviour.

Hold your head up high and look forward to the next one.
 
Reading that - nothing to knock your confidence over - in fact sounds like the reverse - you did everything fine.
 
Zimmyman said:
Now I’m so worried about my next game that it is actually making me feel ill !
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You should be talking to your RDO. You need to be appointed to some easy games to get some confidence back. My advice would be to take a step back from your next game if your comment (quoted) is to be taken literally
 
Hindsight is a wonderful thing and in no way am I being critical here.......I like to think in your shoes I could have sold full time....

Back to the post, it reads like you did everything fine, its not a pleasant task removing managers, its a volatile situation and nobody really comes out of it feeling great. It takes courage, so, you can feel satisfied in that aspect.
There is so many positives in your post that you need to go back out there this week, it be a pity if your league were denied your services this weekend.
 
Ciley Myrus said:
Hindsight is a wonderful thing and in no way am I being critical here.......I like to think in your shoes I could have sold full time....

Back to the post, it reads like you did everything fine, its not a pleasant task removing managers, its a volatile situation and nobody really comes out of it feeling great. It takes courage, so, you can feel satisfied in that aspect.
There is so many positives in your post that you need to go back out there this week, it be a pity if your league were denied your services this weekend.
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Maybe I'm taking Zimmer's quote to literally. The prospect of feeling ill doesn't bode well though. With anything in life, taking a step back can be the best way of making progress. On the contrary, getting straight back on your bike after a fall can also be the best thing to do
There's no massive rush with refereeing however. I like to go and watch games a level or two above grass roots when i get the chance. Watch someone else get shouted at for a change! Take time to reflect on what's gone wrong and come back with a revised approach. That's what it's all about
 
Big Cat said:
I like to go and watch games a level or two above grass roots when i get the chance. Watch someone else get shouted at for a change! Take time to reflect on what's gone wrong and come back with a revised approach
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Glad coming to watch my game was helpful :):rolleyes:
 
Big Cat said:
Maybe I'm taking Zimmer's quote to literally. The prospect of feeling ill doesn't bode well though. With anything in life, taking a step back can be the best way of making progress. On the contrary, getting straight back on your bike after a fall can also be the best thing to do
There's no massive rush with refereeing however. I like to go and watch games a level or two above grass roots when i get the chance. Watch someone else get shouted at for a change! Take time to reflect on what's gone wrong and come back with a revised approach. That's what it's all about
Click to expand...
 
Well this should have been an easy game under12s I could be given an under 10s game and still get the same S—T from managers my quote in feeling ill was really I just feel probably low that one has to
Take this crap from managers in youth football particularly as I was having what I thought was a good game it’s the second time this has happend so that’s why I’m a bit knocked ! I’m an older ref in my sixties but fit enough to do two games on s Sunday and have done under 14 county cup games this year I’ve a fought u14 this week either
I don’t do it or ask for a under 10 game and could still get the same S—t ???
I’ve had lots of good games this season but it just seems it’s like a tinder box sometimes
I’m just going to have to get on with it if stop doing it but why should I let them win ? Thank you for your advice though
 
As referee you cant go out there with a mindset that folk are going to like, or appreciate your performance, its a hiding to nothing, soon as you pull that black top on, your fair game for it seems, everybody.
Long been one of my fav phrases is, "I dont expect you to agree with my decisions, but, I do need you to respect it"
Sometimes, I have found that works, it gives off a humble smell, rather than an all powerful ignorant machine.

Of course you had to be there, but, reading the OP, it sounds a bit rushed, on reflection, could you have calmed it down, or phrased things different? Esp when dealing with the remaining manager? Clearly don't know what you did say or how, but, something like, "look, there are 5 mins to go, your pals been dismissed, I really need you to behave for your boys here please, its their game and me and you should not be spoiling it"? or as close as, thinking being turn the onus back onto the manager and his responsibilities, instead of it just being a warning from one adult to another.

I find if its a verbal battle between coach and ref, coach is not really bothered, but, if you can somehow swing it round to make it beneficial for him to behave, rather than simply delivering a threat of what will happen if he does not behave, you might get a different, hopefully more positive response.

Most if not all experienced refs have approached a coach at public park and asked/told them to leave, and the reply is standard, same as you got "am not going". If we can establish what works best to deal with said trouble maker, and quickly, we can get better results, what makes him tick and give him a benefit to behaving, not just a threat, which afterall, he will have heard a hundred times before.

I reffed a game, albeit, not public park, but, involving the Australian U18 school team a few years back, now, the coach started to play up, ( I had a 4th), so eventually, my turn, I went over and said "3000 mile is a long way to come to spend the match in the dressing room, now behave."
Point being, I was not just issuing a reminder or warning on his behaviour but I planted a seed using the travelling
So simply say shut up/behave or whatever, or you will be removed, was not personal enough, I found a way to strike a cord with him.
Hope that makes some kind of sense.
 
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Zimmy chin up. Your post tells me you did nothing wrong. Note I didn't say you didn't make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes. But that doesn't give managers the right to be an a55. I miss managers asking me for sub often too. The way you feel basically means you care.

Ciley Myrus said:
I like to think in your shoes I could have sold full time....
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I disagree. Even with a minute to go I would still abandon. Causing abandonment will get the manager in even more trouble and teach him valuable lessons. The opponents will get to keep their win. And if the trouble makers were winning, they risk losing the point.
 
Am no fussed who wins what. And am not in the business of being judge and jury, I have no interest if adding or taking away trouble from a manager. I would like to think I would have found full time, and maybe I should have stated, reporting the managers misconduct too.
That way, manager(s) reported and game came to natural conclusion.
 
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