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Last of my five games

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Chrisp72

Chrisp72

Always smiling
Hi Guys
Just done my second game since I completed my referee course an adult one at that .
Soon as I got my fixture I looked and it was top v second both teams could still win the league so the nerves set in. As soon as I arrived the home team manager was telling me how young his side was and how the opponents only wanted to kick them last game and it was going to be a bit feisty !
Well he wasn't wrong ! First couple of tackles were hard but fair in my opinion but both teams were shouting at me from the off as the game progressed supporters were starting to shout at both linesman suggesting they were cheating players then responded by agreeing with them one particular linesman was trying it on at times the players were now starting to say to me your losing it ref I was getting flustered there was so much going on , on and off the field I thought nows the time to calm things down first caution was easy blue completely missed the ball catching his man calls him over explains that was easy for me to call of course he got the ball according to him he would not listen I said are you going to keep on back chatting all game he said " probably will yeah " at this point players were arguing whilst the game was stopped so I ignored his comment cautioned him quickly and got the game started next tackle from blue team again missed the ball took the man easy decision again your f.. Joking ref was called! I called the player over asked his name it was the same surname as the previous player I tried to play it down to keep some calm so I said " same name as the previous player and smiled before I could say anymore he said " yeah it's my brother you not read the f.....g team sheet again cautioned him quickly didn't want it to escalate .
Half time came I called both managers and told them to calm there players down or it could be a case of abandonment to try and get them to keep the players calm both managers did not argue one bit they both knew that there teams were getting way to feisty for anybody's liking .
Taunts at me continued, linesman with some very dodgy calls I must say I did over rule them a couple of times then makes stupid basic mistake signals the wrong way for a throw spectators and players love this I stupidly tried to convince them I got it right with such a blatant mistake instead of changing my decision gulps in horror ! then the flash point 83rd min penalty to the Reds who were 2-1 down again easy decision but calls " you don't know what your doing you've lost it ref"continued I did ask for calm but did not harp on to long I just wanted this game over red misses the penalty lots of blues goading them now ! again my worst nightmare 5 mins to go red goes round blue in area I'm in a great position blue attempts to tackle no contact on ball takes reds ankle to me stone wall pen offending player was one I cautioned first half calls player over did not come says " your the worst ref I have ever had your an absolute f..... Joke calls him again walks straight past me off the field of play I turned called him back again did not come so shows him red goes to turn round heard shouting here we go around 10 players on top of each other I stand back couple of loud blasts on the whistle tries to calm not happening one guy gets up from the bottom of them all with a swollen eye claiming the keeper had punched him blue and red surround me blue saying he's got to go explains I can visibly see he's been hit but can't show any card as I did not see it I can't give what I don't see linesman were from both clubs they were going to defend there players .
Eventually gets players and coaches calm takes penalty scores it's now 2-2 I'm thinking there's 5 mins left here but blow the whistle get game over hopefully both teams will take a point just as I was going to blow blue grabs my Wrist looks at watch shouts lads there 5 mins to go we can still win this heart sinks walking back to centre goalkeeper shouts something both teams run to centre all hell breaks loose blows whistle abandons game confidence has took a battering just wanted to get out of there picks bag up starts walking to my car players shout hope he ain't getting paid one shouts he can't he's abandoned the game another shouts look at him walking off the little f.....g p...y . Gets in car very shaken and disappointed in myself btw I'm 42 yrs old not a young lad .
I've admittedly lost control of the situation not happy at all with myself need to get back to reality and not try and run before I can walk harsh lesson learnt hope I can pick myself up I have not helped myself here
 
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The Referee Store
Chin up lad have you got a mentor and are you at an RA as those things can help you emencly and have you thought about youth football until your ready to step up into adult football
 
ref craig said:
Chin up lad have you got a mentor and are you at an RA as those things can help you emencly and have you thought about youth football until your ready to step up into adult football
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Hi Craig was joining the local RA but was told to join in August now as late in the season but yes definitely going to do the youth and then try again at adult once I have gained much needed experience I have a mentor coming to watch me next game I obviously need to be taken under somebody's wing thanks for the reply
 
Well done mate I think also reading up on it if you'd started clamping on any players that was giving you dissent it could helped you out a bit more as well and if also talking to players during play like saying steady keep your arms down might help you out as well
 
Yes my mistake tried to be to nice again letting to many off did not help me should have clamped down on things early will have to learn and learn quickly can't have this happening to many times if at all I suppose I will learn the hard way but determined to improve
 
Don't worry mate takes time and your mentor will be able to help you out as well
 
Hello mate

Welcome to the clan.

I can safely say that every one of us here has had a game where we lost control. It's perfectly normal in your first few games

I would say first of all, your ref Sec has done you no favours what so ever. Why on earth he gave you such a game is beyond me. I can only think it was an error.

Can I ask what minute the first caution came in? If players are starting to moan then a nice early caution can help set the tone and calm things down a bit.

In terms of the player grabbing your wrist to read your watch, I would be cautioning at minimum for that. Disgusting behaviour.

Also a lot of the comments you've quoted are stone wall yellow cards. But again, during my first few games there were clear cautions I missed that I'd never miss now. It's all a learning curve.

Most importantly, please make sure you file a misconduct report against the clubs for failing to control their players after the final whistle. If you need help with how to do that just shout. Awful behaviour and a younger ref would probably have chucked his ref gear in the bin on the way home with that behaviour

'You're the worst ref I've ever had. You're an absolute ****ing joke' is offensive insulting and abusive language and Rightly seen a red for that comment. Again I appreciate early games, nerves often prevent the punishment being given so well done. I was called a C U next Tuesday on my first game and bottled the red card. Now I automatically send off for either of the two C words. (Female reproductive and cheat)

Some games are going to be gits no matter how you ref them. But the really bad ones can be made more bearable by using your cards. Don't let anyone tell you that dissent cautions and offinabus dismissals are 'soft' cards to give: they are absolutely necessary and important to next weeks ref that it's been punished accordingly

Sounds like you did a lot of things right and the bits you didn't are simply down to being given a terrible game far too early.

Your refs Sec has absolutely dumped you in it.

Hopefully the next game is better and your ref Sec realises his mountainous error

Chin up bud. We've all had games that have made the drive home an awful trip, but we've equally gone back the next week and had a great enjoyable game

Good luck ;);)
 
Many thanks Craig some great advice there I will take everything on board I'm glad I found this forum a lot of sound advice and great people on here once again thanks
 
No problem we have all had these games one time or another and with support other things you should get better as you have more games
 
Easier to say than do, but don't dwell on it. It's always useful after matches to reflect back on what you think you did wrong, or where you could have done better, so that you learn from each performance - but once you've done that don't think about that game any further. As I say, its not easy to do, especially after your first match and one such as you have described. But try and focus on your learning points, and go in to your next game with confidence. It's highly unlikely that your next match will be anything like this one, and if you put in to play the points you picked up from that first match you will already be a better referee. But do get some local support, try and arrange either a mentor for your next game or to be assessed/observed. Simply knowing you are not there on your own will do wonders for your confidence. And never be afraid to ask what may seem to you the most basic / banal questions on this site; have a browse first to see if its been answered (multiple times...), but just post away - this forum is like a virtual RA and we do try and support each other.
 
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@HertsFinest has actually given you some great advice there. Amazingly. ;)

In all seriousness though Ferts is absolutely right on so many things.

You have been stitched up, we have all been there, that behaviour is inexcusable and so many other refs would have thrown the towel in.

We have all been there mate I can assure you. We've all been told we're the worst etc, but use that as the motivation to push on.

The only thing you can do is analyse your own performance and think what would you would do next time? How would you prevent it escalating? Was there a tipping point? What signs can you use to recognise things are going wrong?

These are all things that will make you a better referee.

Experience is gained, and gained from being in sh¡ttry experiences unfortunately. This is your first piece of experience.
 
What a fuooking dim wit of a an appointments or ref se gives a newly certified ref a top of the table clash this late in the season.

I read through your report and noted the good, bad and the ugly, and excellent advice that follows.

But really, ref sec has lined you up for the fall here.

Ignoring comments or being overly officious are both problems in their own right, with equal and opposit reactions, but thats. down to experiecne that youve not yet got or had.
 
RegalRef said:
@HertsFinest has actually given you some great advice there. Amazingly. ;)

In all seriousness though Ferts is absolutely right on so many things.

You have been stitched up, we have all been there, that behaviour is inexcusable and so many other refs would have thrown the towel in.

We have all been there mate I can assure you. We've all been told we're the worst etc, but use that as the motivation to push on.

The only thing you can do is analyse your own performance and think what would you would do next time? How would you prevent it escalating? Was there a tipping point? What signs can you use to recognise things are going wrong?

These are all things that will make you a better referee.

Experience is gained, and gained from being in sh¡ttry experiences unfortunately. This is your first piece of experience.
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Thanks for the reply I take your comments on board and will learn from my mistakes definitely going to go out and get a mentor now
 
HRW said:
What a fuooking dim wit of a an appointments or ref se gives a newly certified ref a top of the table clash this late in the season.

I read through your report and noted the good, bad and the ugly, and excellent advice that follows.

But really, ref sec has lined you up for the fall here.

Ignoring comments or being overly officious are both problems in their own right, with equal and opposit reactions, but thats. down to experiecne that youve not yet got or had.
Click to expand...
Yes tough game to start with I should have done more research on the fixture rather than going in headfirst with no real experience I need to learn from this now it was a harsh lesson I learnt not one I would like to come across again in a hurry
 
if you look past the fact that you have been dumped in it by the fixtures sec, then its all part of the learning experience... albeit a fairly brutal one!
the very fact that you are posting it on here is testament to your character, and that you want to correct what you did in terms of handling situations.
i'm sure we've all been in that position where you have multiple offenders vocalising displeasure and dissenting from all angles, and not knowing where to start. also add to that the fact that you are trying to get the basics right too, and as yet that side of things wont be second nature to you, so once you've got a few games under your belt you can concentrate more on the liasing with players... i'm sure i'm not alone in having not issued cautions due to the fact that 'the moment has gone' whilst i'm processing whats actually gone on in front of me. i'm still learning to control the pace of the game but i'm finding that in slowing things down when necessary, you give yourself that time to make a correct decision and deal with things
i would say that i have learnt a lot from this forum, and the things that i have read and then put into practice have been invaluable
 
richard ramjane said:
if you look past the fact that you have been dumped in it by the fixtures sec, then its all part of the learning experience... albeit a fairly brutal one!
the very fact that you are posting it on here is testament to your character, and that you want to correct what you did in terms of handling situations.
i'm sure we've all been in that position where you have multiple offenders vocalising displeasure and dissenting from all angles, and not knowing where to start. also add to that the fact that you are trying to get the basics right too, and as yet that side of things wont be second nature to you, so once you've got a few games under your belt you can concentrate more on the liasing with players... i'm sure i'm not alone in having not issued cautions due to the fact that 'the moment has gone' whilst i'm processing whats actually gone on in front of me. i'm still learning to control the pace of the game but i'm finding that in slowing things down when necessary, you give yourself that time to make a correct decision and deal with things
i would say that i have learnt a lot from this forum, and the things that i have read and then put into practice have been invaluable
Click to expand...
Thanks Richard
 
Chrisp72 said:
Hi Guys
Just done my second game since I completed my referee course an adult one at that .
Soon as I got my fixture I looked and it was top v second both teams could still win the league so the nerves set in. As soon as I arrived the home team manager was telling me how young his side was and how the opponents only wanted to kick them last game and it was going to be a bit feisty !
Well he wasn't wrong ! First couple of tackles were hard but fair in my opinion but both teams were shouting at me from the off as the game progressed supporters were starting to shout at both linesman suggesting they were cheating players then responded by agreeing with them one particular linesman was trying it on at times the players were now starting to say to me your losing it ref I was getting flustered there was so much going on , on and off the field I thought nows the time to calm things down first caution was easy blue completely missed the ball catching his man calls him over explains that was easy for me to call of course he got the ball according to him he would not listen I said are you going to keep on back chatting all game he said " probably will yeah " at this point players were arguing whilst the game was stopped so I ignored his comment cautioned him quickly and got the game started next tackle from blue team again missed the ball took the man easy decision again your f.. Joking ref was called! I called the player over asked his name it was the same surname as the previous player I tried to play it down to keep some calm so I said " same name as the previous player and smiled before I could say anymore he said " yeah it's my brother you not read the f.....g team sheet again cautioned him quickly didn't want it to escalate .
Half time came I called both managers and told them to calm there players down or it could be a case of abandonment to try and get them to keep the players calm both managers did not argue one bit they both knew that there teams were getting way to feisty for anybody's liking .
Taunts at me continued, linesman with some very dodgy calls I must say I did over rule them a couple of times then makes stupid basic mistake signals the wrong way for a throw spectators and players love this I stupidly tried to convince them I got it right with such a blatant mistake instead of changing my decision gulps in horror ! then the flash point 83rd min penalty to the Reds who were 2-1 down again easy decision but calls " you don't know what your doing you've lost it ref"continued I did ask for calm but did not harp on to long I just wanted this game over red misses the penalty lots of blues goading them now ! again my worst nightmare 5 mins to go red goes round blue in area I'm in a great position blue attempts to tackle no contact on ball takes reds ankle to me stone wall pen offending player was one I cautioned first half calls player over did not come says " your the worst ref I have ever had your an absolute f..... Joke calls him again walks straight past me off the field of play I turned called him back again did not come so shows him red goes to turn round heard shouting here we go around 10 players on top of each other I stand back couple of loud blasts on the whistle tries to calm not happening one guy gets up from the bottom of them all with a swollen eye claiming the keeper had punched him blue and red surround me blue saying he's got to go explains I can visibly see he's been hit but can't show any card as I did not see it I can't give what I don't see linesman were from both clubs they were going to defend there players .
Eventually gets players and coaches calm takes penalty scores it's now 2-2 I'm thinking there's 5 mins left here but blow the whistle get game over hopefully both teams will take a point just as I was going to blow blue grabs my Wrist looks at watch shouts lads there 5 mins to go we can still win this heart sinks walking back to centre goalkeeper shouts something both teams run to centre all hell breaks loose blows whistle abandons game confidence has took a battering just wanted to get out of there picks bag up starts walking to my car players shout hope he ain't getting paid one shouts he can't he's abandoned the game another shouts look at him walking off the little f.....g p...y . Gets in car very shaken and disappointed in myself btw I'm 42 yrs old not a young lad .
I've admittedly lost control of the situation not happy at all with myself need to get back to reality and not try and run before I can walk harsh lesson learnt hope I can pick myself up I have not helped myself here
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No worst feeling than a bad game. Do a couple youth games, they're usually straight forward enough and you feel good when you have a good game
 
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