A&H

If you could turn back time

Sheffields Finest

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
Level 7 Referee
ONE decision in your career that gnaws in your head that you got either wrong in law or you wish you could go back and change.....
One for me, GLT decision ball pinging up and down, hits defender, GK, cross bar, line, everything and then the away captain peels away as if he’s scored, I’m not 100% convinced so it’s play on. He’s obviously disappointed that I’ve not given it so he calls it a “cheat decision’ quite loud. I stopped the game and issues a stern rollicking and issued just a yellow... it’s always rankled one me that he maybe should have walked. Was I right or wrong? Be Kind! 🥺 disappointed Sheffield!
 
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You were right.

To much is made of this "No player can use the word cheat towards me" idea.

How can you be a "cheat?" You're not wearing the other teams shirt and it's not like there's any chance they've bribed before the match is there?

It's a stupid retarded comment to make and so gets treated with the contempt it deserves (unless of course I truly believe the player said it to deliberately offend me - which ain't happened yet). Bollicking and/or a yellow at worst for me.

Play on - next!! :D
 
Two stand out for me being too soft in junior games. One for a player kick out and another for calling me a d***head. Only gave a yellow for both. Different games but I felt like I lost match control for the kick out. I've not made that mistake again, causing some calls from coaches that "you can't send off kids!".
 
My first attempt at promotion season I changed my approach based on advice received on a now defunct referee forum. Talk to players instead of cards was the gist.

Decided to talk to a player instead of walking him for a nasty two footed challenge. Bent knees whilst in the air and locked out straight when he made contact with the opponent’s shin. No serious injury, and gave a free kick only. Also talked to him about how he shouldn’t challenge like that, and as per advice thought it’d suffice instead of a card.

Immediately got into a pointless dialogue with a teammate of the foiled player that just made me look stupid. Tried to make a point about not telling him how to do his job when he started arguing only for him to spout stuff about customer always being right and he’s so what they told him even if it was wrong and made things worse.

Didn’t do me any favours that season understandably.
 
Kes said:
You were right.

To much is made of this "No player can use the word cheat towards me" idea.

How can you be a "cheat?" You're not wearing the other teams shirt and it's not like there's any chance they've bribed before the match is there?

It's a stupid retarded comment to make and so gets treated with the contempt it deserves (unless of course I truly believe the player said it to deliberately offend me - which ain't happened yet). Bollicking and/or a yellow at worst for me.

Play on - next!! :D
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I waited before replying to avoid a knee jerk reaction, but my view is unchanged 36 hours later - I consider "Cheat" said by a player about/to a referee is a dismissal offence as it is offensive and abusive.
If it was shouted at you during, for example, a pub quiz (once they reopen) you would react.
Referees are not cheats, and the players need to know the implications of claiming they are.
For me, it's a dismissal.
 
I'm not so bothered about the stand out isolated mistakes, because I think of them as valuable experience
It's the minor weaknesses that repeat themselves most weeks which irritate me

It's a fine line, but I don't like to leave a game feeling dirty, like I've let myself be soiled. I don't blame the culprits so much, as it's occasionally par for the course, however it's my choice as to whether I allow it. I've only let myself down a few times, but in my experience, 'friendlies' are an enemy
 
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My worst ever experience came in a friendly, I let two handbagging 'generals / enforcers' be subbed off only to return later after a rollocking and a handshake. (rolling subs). If I could turn back time I would 100% of not allowed that to happen. If I'd of videoed what happened 20 minutes later it would have millions of views on Youtube. Shocking scenes and nearly ended my career (in horror at the events) and someones life that day!
We all generally double yellow AA and get on with it, I did get them removed temporarily but that just seemed to pent up the retaliation anger. You can't win!!
 
I’d like to have my second ever game back. Was a game between 2 really feisty teams and whilst there wasn’t one standout incident in the game, it was one that looking back on it, i was not experienced enough to handle.

Lots of dissent and attitude from both players, I’d love to have that game back and re-referee it with the knowledge and experience I have now.

I’d probably walk away from it thinking that is was not a fun game to referee, however I’d definitely have had far more control of it.
 
Mine would be not refusing to do a game. My first U16 game I did back when I was a youth (I think I was 14 and done mostly U12 or younger), my dad couldn't do it and told the assigner I would. When my dad told me, I said no, but he convinced me I needed to do it because he had committed for me.

At that time, I had neither played in nor seen a 16U game before. It took me only a few minutes to realize I just didn't know what a foul was at that level. Absolutely the worst I have ever felt on a field as a player or ref--helpless. (This would have been a worse disaster except that it was a two-referee system, so the other ref, who was a so-so ref, essentially called all the fouls, and the two teams, while they played physically, just wanted to play and did not react badly to my hopelessly poor failure to make appropriate calls.)
 
ChasTutorObserver said:
I waited before replying to avoid a knee jerk reaction, but my view is unchanged 36 hours later - I consider "Cheat" said by a player about/to a referee is a dismissal offence as it is offensive and abusive.
If it was shouted at you during, for example, a pub quiz (once they reopen) you would react.
Referees are not cheats, and the players need to know the implications of claiming they are.
For me, it's a dismissal.
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I think you misunderstand my point.

The analogy you give is a poor one since there is a (barely conceivable) chance that I/anyone could cheat at a pub quiz for personal gain.

There is absolutely no chance that a grass roots football referee is "cheating" on the face of it. What I object to is the notion that using that word to a referee is somehow questioning his integrity and therefore a heinous crime. :rolleyes: It isn't. The player that says it knows full well that you couldn't possibly be cheating (unless he truly believes that the opposition have somehow "bribed" you and he has good reason to think it). The worst the player could realistically accuse you of is "bias" for whatever reason and, who's to say he might not be right?

That was the thrust of my reaction to Sheff's post.

Having said all the above, in the grand scheme of things, the only true reason a player would use the word "cheat" at a referee would (IMO) be to simply abuse or offend him, in which case, again, based on the referees tolerance level/interpretation of "offensive" it would be a red card every time.
 
Kes said:
I think you misunderstand my point.

The analogy you give is a poor one since there is a (barely conceivable) chance that I/anyone could cheat at a pub quiz for personal gain.

There is absolutely no chance that a grass roots football referee is "cheating" on the face of it. What I object to is the notion that using that word to a referee is somehow questioning his integrity and therefore a heinous crime. :rolleyes: It isn't. The player that says it knows full well that you couldn't possibly be cheating (unless he truly believes that the opposition have somehow "bribed" you and he has good reason to think it). The worst the player could realistically accuse you of is "bias" for whatever reason and, who's to say he might not be right?

That was the thrust of my reaction to Sheff's post.

Having said all the above, in the grand scheme of things, the only true reason a player would use the word "cheat" at a referee would (IMO) be to simply abuse or offend him, in which case, again, based on the referees tolerance level/interpretation of "offensive" it would be a red card every time.
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I've not encountered the word 'cheat' in battle. Like you, I'd think of it as nonsense, but a dismissal would almost always be the outcome. Depends on the delivery... muttering in frustration is quite different from a public exclamation
Curiously, I've only ditched one player for OFFINABUS in 160 games and even that crime was not directed at me... Hmmm
 
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Big Cat said:
I've not encountered the word 'cheat' in battle. Like you, I'd think of it as nonsense, but a dismissal would almost always be the outcome. Depends on the delivery... muttering in frustration is quite different from a public exclamation
Curiously, I've only ditched one player for OFFINABUS in 160 games and even that crime was not directed at me... Hmmm
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I'm racking my brain to think of how many times I actually sent off for 'cheat' or anything similar and I'm thinking about 3 times from memory. I'd sent off an older brother in one match for a blatant headbutt and as we left the field at the end his GK brother came up in my face and called me a F'k Cheating Cnut, god knows why, so I doubled up on the family budget deficit and shifted him too... ;)
 
Kes said:
What I object to is the notion that using [the word cheat] to a referee is somehow questioning his integrity
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Seriously? Calling a ref a cheat is the definition of questioning his integrity. The fact that the player might not really believe that the referee is cheating is completely irrelevant.

If a player calls you a cu*t but, on further questioning, doesn't really believe you are literally a vulva, is it still offensive?
 
Trip said:
Seriously? Calling a ref a cheat is the definition of questioning his integrity. The fact that the player might not really believe that the referee is cheating is completely irrelevant.

If a player calls you a cu*t but, on further questioning, doesn't really believe you are literally a vulva, is it still offensive?
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Irrelevant and frankly nonsensical.

Read what I wrote please.

Or better still, how about you give me an example whereby a player could believe a referee to be "cheating".

Like I said it's an insult designed to offend. Nothing more.
 
Red carded a player for asking me how much the opposition had paid me. his team turned up with 10 players and were losing by 6 at the time. i found that offensive.
 
Tino Best said:
Red carded a player for asking me how much the opposition had paid me. his team turned up with 10 players and were losing by 6 at the time. i found that offensive.
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Me too, he even lifted my black shirt up to see if I was wearing an opposition shirt!!! Bye bye... ;)
 
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