Ref4Me

From high to low

dylanbailey4444

Member
Level 7 Referee
Having such a great game yesterday evening to such a low today. I sent off a player after about 15 minutes, straight red, for saying the C word after he had missed a shot. He was 1 on 1 and dragged it wide, everyone else at about the half way line. I heard him say that to himself so sent him off. For about 6-7 minutes was about 12-15 middle aged men crowding around me shouting and f-ing and binding. Not pleasant as a 16 year old boy 😂. Some players were asking why it wasn’t a sin bin, some were picking apart my words about how I said it was a sending off, some were saying that he didn’t say it at all, and some were saying the OFFINABUS has to be towards the referee and so on. All different opinions and comments thrown about. I also got asked at HT to submit two yellows for dissent which i said I will not do. They said that they will appeal this. Will this mean a disciplinary hearing? This is my first ever sending off as a fully qualified referee- and not the type I expected. The game ended with just one other card, a yellow. And handshakes, but mostly with the home team (away received the red), I thought that it was common practice not to use the C word on the pitch- I don’t mean cheat by the way. The other C word. I wasn’t that happy with my game overall, I should have prepared better. I don’t feel that my positioning was great either. It’s annoying to have such a great Friday evening game to such a horrible Saturday afternoon game.
 
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Anubis

RefChat Addict
Am I reading this correct?

he went one on one, missed the target, said the c word, to himself

and this resulted in a red card?

A new level of offended, someone being offended because someone else insulted themself.....


there is the usual context issue to consider of course.

but sadly yes, issuing a red for that will result in an awkward afternoon.

if the game before went better, sounds best to focus on the positives from that one and write this one off as inexperience and a lesson learned
 

Tealeaf

Lighting the darkest hour
Staff member
Level 5 Referee
I was wondering similar to the above. You’re right to say that the C bomb that isn’t cheat ticks the boxes for a red card, but context is crucial here. Consider the following:

- Was it a curse because he missed a good opportunity?

- Was it aimed at you because of something you did?

- Was it aimed at another participant?


If 1, let it pass. Maybe tell him to lower his voice but not much else needed.

If 2, absolutely nailed on. If 3, it’s more of a grey area. Could justify red if it’s accompanied by additional aggression, attempting to provoke an opponent and so forth. Could equally justify a caution for unsporting behaviour, or again a “settle down lads” comment.

What I will say, is if it was number 1, you’ve made a mistake but it’s one to learn from. You’re new, and you’ve come for advice straight away. We all make mistakes, some inexplicable even for the most experienced of us. But it is what it is. You’ve plenty of time given your age that this can be something you laugh about much later on.
 

ChasObserverRefDeveloper

Regular Contributor
As you gain experience you will adapt to men's football at local level.
As may have been said on your course, language which is offensive is, according to law, a dismissal.
However, a spur of the moment one-off curse at himself (as your player did) will normally result in a clear warning from the referee, with repetition likely to result in dismissal.
Your action was correct in law, but with many referees ignoring O/I/A language the dismissal will have been a surprise for him and his mates.
A hearing is unlikely but if there is one it will probably be via Zoom or Teams. If there is a hearing, the local RA or the CFA will provide a companion because if your age.
Well done for sharing. We learn from every game. Keep strong!
 

socal lurker

RefChat Addict
While there is nothing technically improper about a send off for OFFINABUS where the words are not directed at someone, that is certainly the expectation (at least other than in extreme contexts). As you describe it, the F-bombs thrown at you were worse than what you sent the frustrated shooter off for.

As @Tealeaf says, this isn't a card you need to give. (I'll often say something like, "Do me a favor and make a better choice of words."

We only get better by experience. And experience is learning how to do better next time. Don't let the feedback here get you down--every experienced referee on here could give you examples of our much worse and much more embarrassing mistakes . . . and if you hang out here, you get to learn from other people's mistakes, not just your own.
 

DAW7

Member
Level 7 Referee
I'm not going to repeat all the stuff that's been said already, merely my go to statements depending on age group.

Youth football (probably up to U16) I'd be adopting my best "teacher voice" and stating the language is inappropriate and anymore may be dealt with. Yes it's inappropriate language but to suggest teenagers don't swear would be naive.

Older youth to open age it'd be more of a passing statement to start like that suggested by @socal lurker
 

one

RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
Well done for not giving into pressure for not reporting it or reporting it as something different.

Agree with most of what said above. Particularly with importance of context. An additional context is demography. Where I am there are many areas that the C word has become desensitize in recent years. It has become part of the every day industrial language of the younger generation. Very similar to the F word. If used in the context of the OP, it offends noone.
 

gvu_ref

New Member
Level 7 Referee
Context context context. If the players looked at you and C bombed, it’s a red. If hes C bombed cus he’s scuffed his shot that’s a sunday league formality… the language in sunday league football is atrocious, if it’s not aimed at anyone there’s no point trying to deal with it, save your energy.

chin up pal, credit for sticking to your guns though. Don’t worry about them appealing it or any thing like that, your a human being and, as mad as it might seem, you are allowed to make mistakes.
 

dylanbailey4444

Member
Level 7 Referee
Am I reading this correct?

he went one on one, missed the target, said the c word, to himself

and this resulted in a red card?

A new level of offended, someone being offended because someone else insulted themself.....


there is the usual context issue to consider of course.

but sadly yes, issuing a red for that will result in an awkward afternoon.

if the game before went better, sounds best to focus on the positives from that one and write this one off as inexperience and a lesson learned
The game before was probably one of my best ones yet! I was just under the impression that the C word cannot be used on the pitch. I think I saw it on here too that the C word means you’re gone. Someone even said if it’s to a stray dog I believe? But I made a mistake so time to move on!
 

dylanbailey4444

Member
Level 7 Referee
I was wondering similar to the above. You’re right to say that the C bomb that isn’t cheat ticks the boxes for a red card, but context is crucial here. Consider the following:

- Was it a curse because he missed a good opportunity?

- Was it aimed at you because of something you did?

- Was it aimed at another participant?


If 1, let it pass. Maybe tell him to lower his voice but not much else needed.

If 2, absolutely nailed on. If 3, it’s more of a grey area. Could justify red if it’s accompanied by additional aggression, attempting to provoke an opponent and so forth. Could equally justify a caution for unsporting behaviour, or again a “settle down lads” comment.

What I will say, is if it was number 1, you’ve made a mistake but it’s one to learn from. You’re new, and you’ve come for advice straight away. We all make mistakes, some inexplicable even for the most experienced of us. But it is what it is. You’ve plenty of time given your age that this can be something you laugh about much later on.
Thank you, something definitely to learn from!
 

dylanbailey4444

Member
Level 7 Referee
As you gain experience you will adapt to men's football at local level.
As may have been said on your course, language which is offensive is, according to law, a dismissal.
However, a spur of the moment one-off curse at himself (as your player did) will normally result in a clear warning from the referee, with repetition likely to result in dismissal.
Your action was correct in law, but with many referees ignoring O/I/A language the dismissal will have been a surprise for him and his mates.
A hearing is unlikely but if there is one it will probably be via Zoom or Teams. If there is a hearing, the local RA or the CFA will provide a companion because if your age.
Well done for sharing. We learn from every game. Keep strong!
Thank you! It definitely caught me by surprise!
 

dylanbailey4444

Member
Level 7 Referee
While there is nothing technically improper about a send off for OFFINABUS where the words are not directed at someone, that is certainly the expectation (at least other than in extreme contexts). As you describe it, the F-bombs thrown at you were worse than what you sent the frustrated shooter off for.

As @Tealeaf says, this isn't a card you need to give. (I'll often say something like, "Do me a favor and make a better choice of words."

We only get better by experience. And experience is learning how to do better next time. Don't let the feedback here get you down--every experienced referee on here could give you examples of our much worse and much more embarrassing mistakes . . . and if you hang out here, you get to learn from other people's mistakes, not just your own.
That’s a very useful phrased, thank you!
 

dylanbailey4444

Member
Level 7 Referee
Context context context. If the players looked at you and C bombed, it’s a red. If hes C bombed cus he’s scuffed his shot that’s a sunday league formality… the language in sunday league football is atrocious, if it’s not aimed at anyone there’s no point trying to deal with it, save your energy.

chin up pal, credit for sticking to your guns though. Don’t worry about them appealing it or any thing like that, your a human being and, as mad as it might seem, you are allowed to make mistakes.
Thank you! I won’t be making mistake again!
 

Big Cat

RefChat Addict
Level 5 Referee
I wonder whether Trainee Refs would be better off acting as Assistant 5 times in order to qualify. I think the issue raised in the OP is probably quite commonplace. It must've been a miserable experience for @dylanbailey4444
Perfectly reasonable mistake for a 'normal person' to make, but a disaster in terms of 'what football expects'
 

JamesL

RefChat Addict
Level 4 Referee
I wonder whether Trainee Refs would be better off acting as Assistant 5 times in order to qualify.
Yes, good idea.
But also nooo. Very bad idea. Given that you (generally) only get assistants at step 6 (some step 7) and cup games that's a high level to step right into as an assistant referee.
Would be like having (slightly better trained) CARs on semi-pro football.
 

Big Cat

RefChat Addict
Level 5 Referee
Yes, good idea.
But also nooo. Very bad idea. Given that you (generally) only get assistants at step 6 (some step 7) and cup games that's a high level to step right into as an assistant referee.
Would be like having (slightly better trained) CARs on semi-pro football.
Yes, also, grass roots teams in County and Sunday Leagues wouldn't want to pay for more than one Match Official
 

TheLC

Member
I wonder whether Trainee Refs would be better off acting as Assistant 5 times in order to qualify. I think the issue raised in the OP is probably quite commonplace. It must've been a miserable experience for @dylanbailey4444
Perfectly reasonable mistake for a 'normal person' to make, but a disaster in terms of 'what football expects'
I 100% learnt a lot from being an assistant for a few games, I did some u16 academy games as an AR and it was very helpful. Even though it’s not mandatory I would say if any new ref gets offered the chance to do some AR work, take it!
 

QuaverRef

I used to be indecisive but now i'm not so sure
The game before was probably one of my best ones yet! I was just under the impression that the C word cannot be used on the pitch. I think I saw it on here too that the C word means you’re gone. Someone even said if it’s to a stray dog I believe? But I made a mistake so time to move on!
the key question I think here is did you find it insulting or offensive? If you did, then it’s a red. Whilst I personally wouldn’t have sent him off, I know people who detest that particular word so I can see why some refs would issue a red.

In the flip side of that, I’ve regularly been taught as a referee the term ‘no surprises’. If you and only you spot something, nobody appeals and it would turn into total confusion, it could be worth downgrading a card or even just speaking to a player. A simple ‘I know youre frustrated, but I don’t want to hear that kind of language again’
 
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