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Junior/Youth Foul language U15

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GaryClark

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Level 7 Referee
New referee and ref’d my son’s U15 game today as the allocated ref couldn’t make it. Opposition parents were a nightmare all game but I tried to ignore it but the kids feed off it sometimes. One decision I gave against the away team, the kid called me a f***ing retard as he ran away. I pulled him up and had a chat but didn’t card him. His coach actually took him off and the boy apologised to me after the game. Should I have sent him off?
 
The Referee Store
If the player says it to me then they are being red carded, if they are jogging away and say it to themselves about me then I'm calling them out on it. That's just me , others may well deal with it differently
 
If he says that to anyone in my game, he is gone. It's extremely offensive. This is not about offending me. It's about offending those with mental disability.
 
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Sorry without sounding personal because clearly its not, you have badly let yourself AND your referee colleagues down by not red carding here

Doing a turn by standing into cover a game is admirable, on the downside you have overlooked a clear red card, and one which undermines us as a match official at that

based purely on the op and how its typed, 100/100 posters who read it will have dismissed.
 
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End of that kid’s game for me. You’re doing no one any favours shirking your responsibilities and requirements.
 
I'm not going to be as harsh as some on here, as you've said you're a new ref.

However, a big part of being a referee is making decisions that may be unpopular and having the courage to do so.

Issuing any red card to a player is a big deal even for experienced referees, so if you're still new to it and have not done it much (or at all) before, it's an even bigger one for you.

The biggest thing for any referee that wants to progress is not to think "right, how can I justify keeping this player on the pitch?" But instead it's to say "what has the player done and what sanction do I need to issue here?"

I guarantee that EVERY referee on this forum has at some point in their career had a situation where they should have issued a card, but hasn't, the key thing is to learn from it and make sure the next time it happens you do what you need to as a referee.

To some of the comments in this thread - have a word with yourself. This is the "New Referees" section, not the section for PGMOL referees!
 
My beef is with the 'no card for youth' culture that has been created 'there'. It just makes it much harder for any referee let alone a new one.
 
Justylove said:
I'm not going to be as harsh as some on here, as you've said you're a new ref.

However, a big part of being a referee is making decisions that may be unpopular and having the courage to do so.

Issuing any red card to a player is a big deal even for experienced referees, so if you're still new to it and have not done it much (or at all) before, it's an even bigger one for you.

The biggest thing for any referee that wants to progress is not to think "right, how can I justify keeping this player on the pitch?" But instead it's to say "what has the player done and what sanction do I need to issue here?"

I guarantee that EVERY referee on this forum has at some point in their career had a situation where they should have issued a card, but hasn't, the key thing is to learn from it and make sure the next time it happens you do what you need to as a referee.

To some of the comments in this thread - have a word with yourself. This is the "New Referees" section, not the section for PGMOL referees!
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Do we admonish the driver who on his/her first week of driving runs a red and causes a pile up?
When you are driving, you are driving. No matter how busy the road, how fast the other traffic, how scary it is when a tanker flies past you, you have done your exam, you are out on the open road, you have no option but to deal with hazards, corectly, swiftly and safely.
if you dont, and you cause yourself and others a problem, you face the music
if you feel unsure, too nervy, feel you need extra practise, are not confident you can adhere to highway code, you simply dont go out on the road.

When you are reffing, you are reffing. With it comes the responsibility of upholding the lotg. When presented with the equal of the driving hazard, on your pitch, you must deal correctly with it, again, should you not, you are fair game for critics

Imo, needing to even question whether the term used, directed at the match officisl, by a kid, is offensive, is not even a lotg query,
 
Anubis said:
Do we admonish the driver who on his/her first week of driving runs a red and causes a pile up?
When you are driving, you are driving. No matter how busy the road, how fast the other traffic, how scary it is when a tanker flies past you, you have done your exam, you are out on the open road, you have no option but to deal with hazards, corectly, swiftly and safely.
if you dont, and you cause yourself and others a problem, you face the music
if you feel unsure, too nervy, feel you need extra practise, are not confident you can adhere to highway code, you simply dont go out on the road.

When you are reffing, you are reffing. With it comes the responsibility of upholding the lotg. When presented with the equal of the driving hazard, on your pitch, you must deal correctly with it, again, should you not, you are fair game for critics

Imo, needing to even question whether the term used, directed at the match officisl, by a kid, is offensive, is not even a lotg query,
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I think the key here is in the OPs first sentence. He is a "new referee". New referees require support, god knows there's enough rubbish to take on the field without fellow refs piling in.

My 2ps worth is that the poster knows he shouldve sent him off but don't worry about it. New refs are learning and the only way to learn is to learn by your mistakes. We all made them when we first started and we continue to make them as we improve. Next time you'll know what to do and the next match is a new learning opportunity. This place is an excellent learning tool of you have questions or simply want to vent or discuss your match whether it went well or badly.

Speaking of mistakes. I did a County League match today as was being observed as in going for a 5-4 promotion. Very close and tough game at the bottom of the league (which I knew it would be having done these teams before). Last 5 mins the away side are winning by the odd goal and a player kicks the ball away. I didn't see who it was so spoke to the players in the vicinity, no yellow card. Twice more in the last 2 mins the ball was kicked away and I didn't give a yellow. I've no idea why, I always do usually. I've just made a string of errors and over thought the situation and I'll get marked down for it. But I know it's just a mistake and I'll learn from it. Nobody died!
 
Ben448844 said:
I think the key here is in the OPs first sentence. He is a "new referee". New referees require support, god knows there's enough rubbish to take on the field without fellow refs piling in.

My 2ps worth is that the poster knows he shouldve sent him off but don't worry about it. New refs are learning and the only way to learn is to learn by your mistakes. We all made them when we first started and we continue to make them as we improve. Next time you'll know what to do and the next match is a new learning opportunity. This place is an excellent learning tool of you have questions or simply want to vent or discuss your match whether it went well or badly.

Speaking of mistakes. I did a County League match today as was being observed as in going for a 5-4 promotion. Very close and tough game at the bottom of the league (which I knew it would be having done these teams before). Last 5 mins the away side are winning by the odd goal and a player kicks the ball away. I didn't see who it was so spoke to the players in the vicinity, no yellow card. Twice more in the last 2 mins the ball was kicked away and I didn't give a yellow. I've no idea why, I always do usually. I've just made a string of errors and over thought the situation and I'll get marked down for it. But I know it's just a mistake and I'll learn from it. Nobody died!
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Your delaying the restart is a techinal infringment
Allowing yourself to be verbally abused by a minor is beyond compare


of course everyone need begin somewhere and its pleasing if the op realises first his oversight, second, how to correctly dealin future

instead of, should i have sent him off,

the question should be, how can that not be a red card.

if new refs go around allowing abuse like that to go unpunished, or, are unsure whether that phrase deserves punishment, its little wonder so many are lost
We have the tools to deal with most situations on the pitch. Its up to us, old, new, young, mature, athletic, plump, male, female, to use them.
 
It's a red every time. If I can just add, if the parents are a nightmare at youth matches, you have the option to speak to the home coach who is responsible for overseeing their behaviour. You can tell the home coach (and away one) to go to the parents and tell them their behaviour is not acceptable at a youth game. And then report it to county FA.

Last week, I had to ask a coach to remove an aggressive parent CAR and yesterday I had a CAR flounce off at an u11 game (AN UNDER 11 GAME) because I had calmly overruled his incorrect offside flag. What is this sort of behaviour teaching the 10 year olds he is meant to be coaching? Turns out he's got form for acting like an idiot. Why does the FA allow these coaches to continue?
 
Anubis said:
Do we admonish the driver who on his/her first week of driving runs a red and causes a pile up?
When you are driving, you are driving. No matter how busy the road, how fast the other traffic, how scary it is when a tanker flies past you, you have done your exam, you are out on the open road, you have no option but to deal with hazards, corectly, swiftly and safely.
if you dont, and you cause yourself and others a problem, you face the music
if you feel unsure, too nervy, feel you need extra practise, are not confident you can adhere to highway code, you simply dont go out on the road.

When you are reffing, you are reffing. With it comes the responsibility of upholding the lotg. When presented with the equal of the driving hazard, on your pitch, you must deal correctly with it, again, should you not, you are fair game for critics

Imo, needing to even question whether the term used, directed at the match officisl, by a kid, is offensive, is not even a lotg query,
Click to expand...
Seriously!?! But I'm going to humour you here:

Let's compare learning to drive with learning to referee. If you were to apply the same principles to the two the way you learn to referee would be as follows:

You would have 1-2-1 session with an instructor in a practical environment, namely you'd do games with an instructor right by your side giving you guidance and help on every single situation.

Before you were allowed to 'fly solo' you'd not only have to pass a theory test, you'd have to pass a practical test in a 'live' environment.

Here in the UK the referees course is nowhere near that, they are typically in groups of 24 yes there is some practical and theory practice, but once you have passed then you are out on your own and it's very much about learning on the job, which is why new referees get youth or low level games to learn their craft.

In your 'passing your driving test' scenario, if you have enough money, the moment you pass your test, you can get into a high performance sports car and drive it. In refereeing, you don't get appointed to a Premier League game just after you've qualified.

Maybe being a little more supportive of new referees might be in order, or if you can't manage that maybe skip past this section of the forum and not comment at all.
 
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Anubis said:
Do we admonish the driver who on his/her first week of driving runs a red and causes a pile up?
When you are driving, you are driving. No matter how busy the road, how fast the other traffic, how scary it is when a tanker flies past you, you have done your exam, you are out on the open road, you have no option but to deal with hazards, corectly, swiftly and safely.
if you dont, and you cause yourself and others a problem, you face the music
if you feel unsure, too nervy, feel you need extra practise, are not confident you can adhere to highway code, you simply dont go out on the road.

When you are reffing, you are reffing. With it comes the responsibility of upholding the lotg. When presented with the equal of the driving hazard, on your pitch, you must deal correctly with it, again, should you not, you are fair game for critics

Imo, needing to even question whether the term used, directed at the match officisl, by a kid, is offensive, is not even a lotg query,
Click to expand...
I think comparing not issuing a 14 year old boy with a red card and running a red light causing a pile up is taking football a tad too seriously here.

Yes debate the decision, but if using comparisons, at least keep them sporting!
 
Moving on from the OFFINBUS - as we have discussed before in relation to dissent from the players, it rarely ends well if you just 'ignore' the parents being 'idiots'.

A quiet word with the 'match delegate', your point of contact on the day or home manager would be the starting point, escalating it, if the 'nonsense' didn't stop.
 
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