The Ref Stop

First game

R

Ref_AC

New Member
Had my first game today. It was only U11s, but as I’m only 16, I definitely lacked confidence in my voice and whistle at times.

I found it very hard to keep an eye on everything. We were playing full rules, with throw ins, offsides, pass backs and no retreating line, and it didn’t help that one of the touch lines was a few cones, so was very hard to see this. At one point the goalkeeper picked it up and everyone was shouting for pass back but I wasn’t 100 % sure so didn’t give it, but looking back I know I probably should have. There was another incident where a player went down but I really couldn’t see what happened so I said play on. They all shouted for a FK though. The player was still down and I thougjt he looked like he was maybe crying so I stopped play. Minute I did he sprung up and was more or less ok. I gave a drop ball, but the coaches were telling me to kick it back to them or something, and I really wasn’t sure what they were on about.

One last thing is my socks were really tight that my legs were cramping, may need to get bigger ones! Coaches and parents were very nice and understanding.
 
The Ref Stop
Don’t worry about it, it’s all a learning curve. Refereeing is in all honesty a rather difficult thing to grasp, so I really wouldn’t be worried that you feel like this after your first one!

My first ever game was an open age friendly. I had 0 idea what I was doing. Never left the centre circle as I didn’t know where to stand and as a result of this, missed the most blatant penalty of all time.

You’ll get more confident the more games you do. Will definitely be worthwhile doing 1 of, if not a few of the below:

Join a local RA
Speak to your RDO about being assigned a mentor/coach
Speak to more experienced referees
Go and watch games- you’ll find yourself watching the referee more than you do the game

Oh, and get some new socks!
 
Welcome to the ref club! Sounds like a good start. On the “back pass,” if you aren’t positive, you were right to not call it—the ones we should call tend to be pretty obvious.

My suggestion for your next game is to pick just 2 or 3 things you’d like to do better. And do that each game. By focusing on just.a couple, it is easier to actually improve.

Fro. What you wrote, here’s two to consider. (But take it with many grains of salt, as Imall Imknow is what you wrote above.)

  • The whistle. It seems easy, but does take a bit of work. Most young refs don’t blow the whistle loudly enough and don’t change the whistle at all based on what is happening. Practice before your next game. Practice a strong so ride t whistle for a foul. And paractice a lighter chirp for an over the line the playes aren’t sure about. (I sometimes tell newbie youth refs to practice in their bed room—if mom is ‘t yelling that itks too loud for the house, then it isn’t loud enough for the field,)
  • Prs time your signals I. Front of a mirror, trying to look like the experienced referees you’ve watched with sharp, strong signals. And hold practice holding it long e ought to be seen—many knew refs, especially when not feeling confident, rush the signal and drop it too quickly. Strong signals help make you look confident—and we always want to be seen as confident, even when we aren”t feeling that way. The morris will feel silly, but it is the on,y way to know how you actually look.
Good luck and have fun out there!
 
Welcome to the madhouse! Joining here and self-reflecting on that game is such a huge step to personal progression.

Onwards and upwards!

Here is a great place to bounce ideas around, ask for advice about situations that have or might occur, and read what senior colleagues would do or have done.

If you’ve not got a circle of local colleagues that you can get in a group chat with or see regularly, shout where you’re from and we can point you towards good people.
 
Thanks for all the great advice. Guess it's only onwards and upwards from here. Been assigned to my first game as AR, I believe Men's friendly so will be good to get a taster of that.
 
Every game you are going to think you could have done something better or could have done something differently. Recognising mistakes (and I made a howler yesterday by YC a keeper while the ball was actually still in play... a long story, but one I will learn from.) What you lack in voice make up for with your whistle. Make it as loud as possible and make yourself be noticed. I have done about 19 games so far and my first 5 were the worst but you will become more tough as you progress. You will be made to feel not good enough, but never believe that. Be amiable, but not overly familiar or friendly with the players and coaches, and be sure to let them know you will not accept any disrespect. Your greatest strength is your knowledge of the LOTG. These explain your decisions and your reason to be there. Above all, enjoy it. You get to see some amazing football being played and some great goals being scored from a unique viewpoint. That is a huge bonus.
 
It is tough to begin with but persevere. The learning curve is massive early on but the harder you work and the more you prepare the better you will become. With a good attitude and the good support you will be a much better referee after 5, 10 and 20 games. As others have said, focus on one or two things per game, learn by watching others and hang around with some other older referees you admire. Well done on the self reflection - this will serve you well and shows you care about making the right decisions. You have youth on your side so if you can find one or two good mentors there is every reason to think that in time you could become a very good referee. Oh by the way, refereeing can set you up for life - teaching service, confidence and resilience. Enjoy!
 
I'm 38 and refereed my first game last weekend, it was an u10 Girls game. I've coached football for years and I wanted to see things from a different perspective, so put myself on the course. The first thing I'd say is the respect I have for anyone getting out and doing this is through the roof, especially 14/15/16 year olds. I was absolutely terrified and it seemed like everything I've ever known about football just left my head. I reckon I spent most of the game running in the same straight line backwards and forwards.

I found I started to calm down a bit once I began to communicate with the players and coaches a bit more. There were a couple of decisions I wasn't entirely sure on (whether it was a corner or goal kick etc.) and I realised if I looked confident in what I did give (whether I was or not!) then they went with it. There was an occasion or two where I explained my decision "it looked to me like it came back off your foot" etc. and the coaches said their players appreciated that.

Keep going, mate - if a fat, bald 38 year old can be nervous reffing his first game, you're well within your rights but I'm sure you did a brilliant job and will go on to make a cracking referee.
 
Welcome to never being able to watch a football match the same again!! At some point the nerves will just disappear and you will be able to go out there confident most weeks. One piece of advice is that no matter how good or bad you think you did in a game do not let it get to you. Still very early in your career and its too early to let a mistake ruin your weekend.
 
As to your socks, yes, get some new ones (should have more than one pair anyway), but with your current ones, they can perhaps be stretched - just keep pulling them for quite a while, which may help.
 
Samuel said:
At some point the nerves will just disappear.
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Not necessarily. I still get nerves now ahead of games and I've been doing this for 13-14 years now.

Samuel said:
you will be able to go out there confident most weeks.
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Nerves don't necessarily translate to a lack of confidence. You'd probably have no idea how nervous I can get before a game, because I mask it with confidence.
 
If I don’t get nervous before a game something is wrong. 25 years now for me. Once that first whistle is blown the butterflies disappear
 
Samuel said:
Welcome to never being able to watch a football match the same again!! At some point the nerves will just disappear and you will be able to go out there confident most weeks. One piece of advice is that no matter how good or bad you think you did in a game do not let it get to you. Still very early in your career and its too early to let a mistake ruin your weekend.
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I must admit, since being on the course, I've spent more time looking at the way a professional referee positions themselves when I've been at games. Even little hints and tips that were mentioned on the course that you then spot on the pitch that you'd have never seen before. It's a whole new world!
 
Samuel said:
At some point the nerves will just disappear
Click to expand...

To badly quote Tiger Woods "If you're not nervous, you simply don't care"

There are so many studies about performance and psychological arousal *giggles*. I expect every referee, at every level still gets nervous because it's our brain getting ready to perform. The problem with nerves is performance can be impacted if we are at either end of the spectrum (too nervous - not at all nervous).

A large part of my job is public speaking, regardless of standing in front of 10 people or 5000 people, if I am not nervous during the build up and on the day, then it affects me more because I know I am not properly prepared.
 
Ross said:
If I don’t get nervous before a game something is wrong. 25 years now for me. Once that first whistle is blown the butterflies disappear
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The same. I thought there must be something wrong with me but remember reading Alan Hansen gave up MOTD due to the nerves which made me more comfortable with mine.

And to the OP, you'll be learning to drive in a year; you won't be a perfect driver after one lesson. It's the same with refereeing, continual learning.
 
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