With Bonfire Night in full swing, I figured I’d add a bit more fuel to the fire of what turned out to be a pretty frustrating Sunday for many of us. After sleeping on it for a couple of days, I felt it was time to unload my thoughts rather than just venting a stream of frustration.
I’d planned to take a week off, but a last-minute text changed that. It was a local fixture, so I agreed..
The first 30 minutes were relatively uneventful, but things soon took a turn when a Blue attacker got the other side of the Red defence and was clumsily brought down. The challenge was careless — the player ran across the defender and fell into him. I immediately ruled out DOGSO criteria, and decided on a yellow for a SPA. The Blue team were pretty miffed (think too many of them still have Saliba's red card fresh in their mind).
That moment seemed to be the tipping point. Shortly after, I had to send a Blue player (just subbed on) to the sin bin after being told, "I should learn the rules" *Shudder* — all because the player lost out in a firm but fair challenge.
At halftime, I took the opportunity to explain my decision to the Blue coach and captain. After a brief discussion, they seemed to accept my explanation.
The second half was more heated. A Blue player was cautioned for AA for throwing the ball at a Red player. However, the real boiling point came shortly after when a Blue defender made a reckless challenge on a Red player near the touchline, right in front of the Blue coaching staff. I called the Blue player over, explained the challenge was reckless and also SPA, and showed him the yellow. That’s when the outburst came. The Blue coaches were livid, shouting, “How can that be the same as the one in the first half?!” The tirade continued, and I had to firmly ask them to quiet down, suggesting we discuss the decision after the game. The coach was trying to demand an explanation then and there, but I said something along the lines of "I’d rather finish the game."
Looking back, I don’t think the coach crossed the line or was out of order — in his mind, he was simply passionately disputing a decision (possibly could've booked him for dissent but possibly would've inflamed the situation). However, my concern is that this kind of behaviour, particularly in U18s football, sends the wrong message to young, impressionable players who might come to think this sort of sideline behaviour is acceptable. I would be slightly more tolerant of this behaviour in the dog and duck league, but it feels like these “wannabe Mourinho” moments are becoming all too common in football, especially with the rise of amatuer football on social media and YouTube.
For what it's worth, the coach didn’t come back for that promised explanation at full time. He shook my hand, thanked me, and walked off. Honestly, I was disappointed. I had planned to discuss his conduct and remind him that, as a coach, he’s a role model for these young adults. But perhaps that would’ve been wasted breath.
Overall, I wasn’t particularly surprised by the attitude and behaviour of these 17/18-year-olds. While it was disappointing and, at times, borderline unacceptable, I do remember being that age — though I like to think I was never quite that unruly! But I was surprised by the number of petulant fouls — shirt-pulling, tugging, little things like that (no attempt to play the ball). I warned a player twice for subtle shirt pulls that would've been hard to sell as yellow cards but still needed addressing. But something that I did really struggle with as the game went on, was the sense that some of the players were mocking me — laughing at decisions or making little jokes to each other. I don’t think I had a bad game, and I feel that most of my decisions were justified. If anything, I may have been a bit over officious with nigggly fouls and throw-in locations.
I’m also starting to think that I’m becoming a "card-happy" referee — 10 yellow cards in 3 games and maybe I need to work on talking a player away from a booking. But in my view, each card has been fully warranted. I also wondered if the players and coaches took issue with the fact that their poor behaviour was being punished. I did consider whether they had a bit of "last week's referee didn’t issue any cards" mentality, but that’s unlikely, given the league struggles to appoint referees — some teams haven’t had a referee in years.
After the match, a number of parents from the losing team gave positive feedback. I appreciated that, but given the events of the game, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was meant sarcastically. But maybe I’m just overthinking it and just chalk it all up to experience.
I’d planned to take a week off, but a last-minute text changed that. It was a local fixture, so I agreed..
The first 30 minutes were relatively uneventful, but things soon took a turn when a Blue attacker got the other side of the Red defence and was clumsily brought down. The challenge was careless — the player ran across the defender and fell into him. I immediately ruled out DOGSO criteria, and decided on a yellow for a SPA. The Blue team were pretty miffed (think too many of them still have Saliba's red card fresh in their mind).
That moment seemed to be the tipping point. Shortly after, I had to send a Blue player (just subbed on) to the sin bin after being told, "I should learn the rules" *Shudder* — all because the player lost out in a firm but fair challenge.
At halftime, I took the opportunity to explain my decision to the Blue coach and captain. After a brief discussion, they seemed to accept my explanation.
The second half was more heated. A Blue player was cautioned for AA for throwing the ball at a Red player. However, the real boiling point came shortly after when a Blue defender made a reckless challenge on a Red player near the touchline, right in front of the Blue coaching staff. I called the Blue player over, explained the challenge was reckless and also SPA, and showed him the yellow. That’s when the outburst came. The Blue coaches were livid, shouting, “How can that be the same as the one in the first half?!” The tirade continued, and I had to firmly ask them to quiet down, suggesting we discuss the decision after the game. The coach was trying to demand an explanation then and there, but I said something along the lines of "I’d rather finish the game."
Looking back, I don’t think the coach crossed the line or was out of order — in his mind, he was simply passionately disputing a decision (possibly could've booked him for dissent but possibly would've inflamed the situation). However, my concern is that this kind of behaviour, particularly in U18s football, sends the wrong message to young, impressionable players who might come to think this sort of sideline behaviour is acceptable. I would be slightly more tolerant of this behaviour in the dog and duck league, but it feels like these “wannabe Mourinho” moments are becoming all too common in football, especially with the rise of amatuer football on social media and YouTube.
For what it's worth, the coach didn’t come back for that promised explanation at full time. He shook my hand, thanked me, and walked off. Honestly, I was disappointed. I had planned to discuss his conduct and remind him that, as a coach, he’s a role model for these young adults. But perhaps that would’ve been wasted breath.
Overall, I wasn’t particularly surprised by the attitude and behaviour of these 17/18-year-olds. While it was disappointing and, at times, borderline unacceptable, I do remember being that age — though I like to think I was never quite that unruly! But I was surprised by the number of petulant fouls — shirt-pulling, tugging, little things like that (no attempt to play the ball). I warned a player twice for subtle shirt pulls that would've been hard to sell as yellow cards but still needed addressing. But something that I did really struggle with as the game went on, was the sense that some of the players were mocking me — laughing at decisions or making little jokes to each other. I don’t think I had a bad game, and I feel that most of my decisions were justified. If anything, I may have been a bit over officious with nigggly fouls and throw-in locations.
I’m also starting to think that I’m becoming a "card-happy" referee — 10 yellow cards in 3 games and maybe I need to work on talking a player away from a booking. But in my view, each card has been fully warranted. I also wondered if the players and coaches took issue with the fact that their poor behaviour was being punished. I did consider whether they had a bit of "last week's referee didn’t issue any cards" mentality, but that’s unlikely, given the league struggles to appoint referees — some teams haven’t had a referee in years.
After the match, a number of parents from the losing team gave positive feedback. I appreciated that, but given the events of the game, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was meant sarcastically. But maybe I’m just overthinking it and just chalk it all up to experience.
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