A&H

Do They Forget What It’s All About?

Relatively easy game to ref yesterday, despite the fact it was a local U13 derby, in fact none of these incidents are from the match itself, so this might not be the right place to put it. More so to do with the behaviour of the away manager, and the fact people seem to forget that an U13 league game is not that big of a deal

He turned up with a team of 12. I know home manager fairly well, and they had a large team at start of season but lost a lot of players. He‘s got a few of the away teams former players now and they all left because of the away coach.

As I’m doing my pre match warm up, I can hear him arguing with one of his players. He’s telling the player that he has to go in goals, and the player is refusing. Eventually the coach tells him if he doesn’t want to go in goals, he has to leave, and the player leaves. As the player leaves, the coach shouts to the 12/13 year old “maybe you should grow a pair of balls” to which the player responds “maybe you should eat a salad” which, whilst not the greatest insult, was probably a fair one.

They did alright early on but eventually lost 9-2, the lack of subs does eventually make an impact even at this level, and the keeper that went in wasn’t a keeper. After the match, I’m packing my stuff up, and one of the kids walks past me crying. Soon enough, another two follow after him, not in tears but storming off from the post match team talk.

As I walk past I eavesdrop in on the convo the kids were having with their parents. They claimed the manager had told them they were kicked off the team for their lack of effort and that he wanted their kits handing in on Wednesday. One of the kids who stormed off said the exact phrase of “I’m going to cut this kit up before I let that fat **** have it”

I go into the clubhouse to get my payment from the kitchen staff and get caught in a long conversation with him about Huddersfield (we’ve talked before.) When I come out into the car park the 3 Mums are stood there waiting. I have to admit I was intrigued at this points, he’d pissed off the football Mums I wanted to see what happened next. I got in my car just as away manager gets to car park and immediately he gets screamed at. He ignores the parents, him and his son get into their car and he shouts “maybe if those kids hadn’t ****ed me over today, I wouldn’t have to tell them hard truths.” And with that he drove off, leaving behind a bemused me and 3 angry parents.

I mean, can I report any of that, I can’t can I surely. It’s not really my responsibility what is said to his players, it’s not like it was said during the match (although I know the laws say it’s when ref enters and leaves field of play.) But at the same time, he shouldn’t be saying that to 12/13 year olds. But he’s the one that’s going to end up with no team. The fact he’s lost so many players and the players that have left blaming it on the coach says this isn’t a one time incident. Just wanted to share this to show what happens when managers think an U13 Div 5 game is the FA Cup final and they’re the next Jose Mourinho.

On a side note, I knew exactly who the managers son was going to be so I was not surprised at all when the away manager appeared with this kid at the end. The kid spent the whole match in CM, standing in the centre circle and doing nothing but moan. Early on he moaned at all my decisions, until I gave him friendly advice that it wouldn’t end well for him. After that he moaned at his teammates for their lack of Effort despite the lack of effort the kid Was doing himself. I could tell by his arrogance and the lack of criticism from manager (and the captains armband) he was gonna be managers son. Kind of ironic that the player who got the least criticism despite doing the leash effort was managers son But at least that manager won’t have a team to manage anymore
 
The Referee Store
Shame, most coaches in junior football are alright and in it for the right reasons but a small minority of them are just n0bs. Recently had an U13s game, where at half time a coach told his players to 'f*cking go straight through them'. Pathetic
 
Shame, most coaches in junior football are alright and in it for the right reasons but a small minority of them are just n0bs. Recently had an U13s game, where at half time a coach told his players to 'f*cking go straight through them'. Pathetic
Any incidents happened because of all call in the 2nd half?
 
I think there is only one possible card to attach to such a comment :redcard:
Edit: Only had one game since this, in which the same remark was also used twice
Honestly I think the youth game is atrocious at the moment as players think they can get away with this type of language. I mean literally yesterday got called a 'daft c*nt'.
 
Unfortunately football attracts some absolute fools, usualy in open age football but sadly there are some of them in youth football. For those old enough to remember the Fast Show, there was a sketch on there about Competitive Dad, and this is probably oen of the (many) modern day examples.

There's not really anything for a misconduct report in there, but telling a 12 or 13 year old “maybe you should grow a pair of balls” is a safeguarding problem, if not an offence. Add it to everyhing else and this clown shouldn't be anywhere near youth football, so please report it to your CFA's safeguarding officer.
 
Yes, contact the CFA safeguarding officer. If there are other such reports, they will act against the club/manager.

The worst thing is that the manager is likely to to the safeguarding official for that club!
 
Report it to your CFA Safeguarding officer. Either the club aren't aware of how matey boy is behaving and will be glad to have strong words when they hear about it, or they are aware and when the county ask them about it they'll have some intersting questions to ask, particularly about any chartered status they may hold!
 
I mean, can I report any of that, I can’t can I surely. It’s not really my responsibility

When did you last do any child protection training? Not only can you report it but you are failing if you don't. You have a duty of care to all of the children there and must report this without delay. That manager should not be anywhere near junior football by the sounds of things
 
This is a side of Youth football I don't miss at all. As others have said, this has safeguard concerns written all over it! I have no doubt in my mind that part of my now nearly 19 year old son's mental heath issues and low self esteem are a result of the way he was treated by a coach and some particularly unpleasant superiority complex parents at u11 level! :mad:

The OP's story reminds me of one of the most unpleasant teams I ever had the displeasure of refereeing. Ill disciplined, whiney and argumentative (amongst themselves as well as the opposition). The manager's son always seemed to be the primary cause of the issues with the team, the manager's assistant was borderline psychopathic and certainly shouldn't have been allowed anywhere near football full stop regardless of age/level, then there was the manager, who turned a blind eye to the chaos around him. To my surprise, I found out a few weeks after the my first encounter with them, that the manager was a serving police sergeant! :eek:
 
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