Ref4Me

Bit of a whinge - bit of a rant.

Murri O

Active Member
Refereeing whinge.

Obviously can't stop progress but because of the cheap availability of video software all of the first grade and reserve grade games in the town I'm in are all now recorded by the clubs. Of course that means all match incidents can now be screenshotted or sent as little video clips to all the team group chats to crucify you for any decision you made in error. It sucks because, obviously, I'm not a robot impervious to making mistakes.

In the old days it was just your word against there's and consigned to last weeks memories. Now they live on forever.

Making it worse there is no opportunity to defend yourself if you disagree with what they're saying because (a) I'm not in those group chats and (b) they wouldn't believe you anyway. (I know it's happening because some of the players have told me.) It's also problematic because I referee in a town of about 80 thousand people and pretty much all of the players know who you are. (I.E. I'm never turning up at a game where I haven't done one or both of the teams before.)

Obviously this circle jerk / echo chamber where they all pile on makes it extremely difficult when you next referee them. Particularly if you stuff up. (Which of course you inevitably will.)

A perfect example was a series of screenshots they took to show player A 'deliberately' elbowing player B in the head. But I've watched the video and player A backs back to try and head the ball from the GK kick. (Incident occurs at the half way line). At no stage does he look behind himself to 'deliberately' elbow the defender who jumps at the same time and cops an elbow in the side of the head because as he jumps his arm pushes player A's arm up which then smacks into player B's head.

Of course a single or series of screenshots from that one 0.5 sec interaction doesn't show anything that happens beforehand and/or how. Not that that matters anyway because all the players are sharing these selective screenshots and slagging me (and presumably other referees in other games) off.

Sure Murri but if you can't stand the heat get out of the fire. And that's all well good but I do enjoy the challenge and responsibility of doing these higher levels games. It is what it is I guess.

Not sure what the point of the above ranting was about. I have no one to complain to except the wife and she's over it so just wanted to vent a bit here. It's depressing sometimes and it really makes you think about whether you want to go on with it.
 
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RefRyanAus

New Member
I feel your pain Murri. Almost all my games are now videotaped as a training tool for the teams involved and I have no doubt there is a forensic examination of my poor refereeing decisions from time to time (perhaps every time :)). Of course anyone who has ever even tried to referee knows that it is a challenging gig and that errors and stuff-ups are an inevitable part of it. I think you are perfectly entitled to grumble but perhaps try not to dwell on it for too long. We all do our best and that is all anyone can ask for. Hopefully most players analysing their own performance and seeing their own errors in technicolour video also acknowledge that everything is easier in hindsight and replay.
 

Russell Jones

RefChat Addict
Level 3 Referee
It always amazes me that, by and large, the rest of the football community seem so unforgiving of mistakes by officials. It's a complex sport and errors of judgement are to be expected by everyone involved ... players, coaches, officials etc. You can only presume that this stems from a belief that somehow refereeing is 'easier' than playing ... likely fuelled by the fact that those having this perspective have never actually tried their hand at officiating! For me, it's very simple: Refereeing is difficult so referees will make mistakes. All we can do is try and learn from them in order to make less in future.

Hang in there Murri :)
 

Anubis

RefChat Addict
Flip side true story from only a few weeks ago.
Appointed to same away team 2 Sats in a row, both times with them travelling 3 hours on a bus to play traditionally stronger opponents.

The first game, they had a pk awarded against them, one given to them, and at the time they had offside claims for the last min equalising goal.
Upon seeing it was me again the second week I was met with, " we watched the game back, you got everything right" etc, setting the scene nicely for second game, at least at kick off they knew they had a referee they could trust.


this was however a rare occasion, so of course when it works out in reverse the pitfalls are glaring.

Best you can do is stick to basics, can only give what you see, can only be one place at a time, only get one look at it, maybe even try some empathy, even try placate them, ' if I was able replay the incident maybe i would have called it different"

if the op situation where you are going to get the same teams, would some rapport building help? " but that chance you missed late on, i would have buried that" clearly not in an offending manner but in a bid to show they need to accept they are human too and on the same pitch.

I would make extra effort to get a good solid start to games too, gain the players trust from the first whistle, of course we try get things right always but get a good start, rathet than chase your tail.
 

Big Cat

RefChat Addict
Level 5 Referee
There is one step 5 club around my way who begin replaying the game on a big screen in the bar after the match. I've also seen them slo-mo through 'debatable' moments. Sometimes a quick getaway is the order of the day ....
Yeh, it's always stuck me that the ethos of 'post-match hospitality and board rooms' is so contradictory to the overall culture in football. It's absurd.

Virtually every game gets the Veo treatment. Thankfully, I'm barely into other Social Media sites so I'm largely oblivious as to what goes on
Simple fact is, Refereeing is super-duper challenging and I'm somewhat forgiving of everyone who can't perceive this... which equates to the rest of the population. None of them could step into a 'pyramid football' game and fare well. No matter how long they've been in the game for or even if their personalities are perfectly suited to the role
 

RustyRef

Administrator
Staff member
Unfortunately people in football seem to see what they want to see. Clearly demonstrated by Jesse Marsch watching a video of Dan James's horror challenge then immediately sprinting over to the fourth official to remonstrate about the red card. And last night Arteta blaming the referee even though he's seen a replay of Holding whacking Son, in what really could and should have been a straight red. Both of them would have been demanding red cards if it had been their players on the wrong end. These are experienced football people, they've seen the evidence, yet refuse to accept that their players have done wrong.
 

Gamespoiler

Well-Known Member
Level 7 Referee
I'd go through the video and comment on every decision that you get right, players just simply don't realise how many decisions a referee has to make during a game
 

santa sangria

RefChat Addict
Murri, you know the players are just deflecting because their mistakes are ten times worse and there are hundreds more of their mistakes.

We know this. Sleep sound. In the end it’s just more low level dissent.

Personally, I think you should avoid it.
 

Darren83

Member
Level 7 Referee
It's not a whinge it's a valid point. A few months ago I did an u15 game and they had one of them green triangle things as both teams wanted to use the footage for some course work so I said fine. The coach messaged me to say I got everything right and he would send me the video though I declined as I dont want to know really as I just make a decision and be fair and consistent.

I've refereed the team a few times as I am local to their home pitch and everytime they have that sodding green triangle thing. Like today I sent off their captain for 2nd caution 20 min in, I'm sure they will review their footage and point out to him he was naive to do something he had already been cautioned for 5 min before.

I did some friendlies for a local semi pro reserve team last pre season and they had some go pro to record their goals. On the monday some guys in work were taking the pee cos they'd seen a video of a foul I missed in a what's up group. If this is how it's going then what's even the point in doing it ⚽⚽️ ( rant over Haha)
 

RobOda

RefChat Addict
Level 3 Referee
he would send me the video though I declined as I dont want to know really

I'd have taken the video to be honest. It is very rare that you get an opportunity to look back at positioning, body language and facial expressions etc.

Regardless of if a call is right/wrong, it's a great learning tool. I had my first recorded game recently and it has been genuinely fascinating to look back at.
 

Justylove

Premium Member
Premium Member
Level 4 Referee
There is one step 5 club around my way who begin replaying the game on a big screen in the bar after the match. I've also seen them slo-mo through 'debatable' moments. Sometimes a quick getaway is the order of the day ....
There was a step 5 team on my league that has been known to do that. They sit you right in front of the screen for your post match refreshments too! 😁
 

PinnerPaul

RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
It always amazes me that, by and large, the rest of the football community seem so unforgiving of mistakes by officials. It's a complex sport and errors of judgement are to be expected by everyone involved ... players, coaches, officials etc. You can only presume that this stems from a belief that somehow refereeing is 'easier' than playing ... likely fuelled by the fact that those having this perspective have never actually tried their hand at officiating! For me, it's very simple: Refereeing is difficult so referees will make mistakes. All we can do is try and learn from them in order to make less in future.

Hang in there Murri :)
Worth repeating my quote from the (Ex) QPR manager after an admittedly shocking and clearly wrong offside decision in a cup tie QPR were involved in. Usual comments about couldn't understand how it could happen - perfectly good gaol was disallowed as a result of said decision.

When asked about the equally shocking THREE penalties QPR missed in the subsequent shoot out, he replied "They are only human"!

Passed him by that the AR, surprise, surprise, was human as well! :rolleyes:
 

Big Cat

RefChat Addict
Level 5 Referee
Worth repeating my quote from the (Ex) QPR manager after an admittedly shocking and clearly wrong offside decision in a cup tie QPR were involved in. Usual comments about couldn't understand how it could happen - perfectly good gaol was disallowed as a result of said decision.

When asked about the equally shocking THREE penalties QPR missed in the subsequent shoot out, he replied "They are only human"!

Passed him by that the AR, surprise, surprise, was human as well! :rolleyes:
It was Sunderland though :poop: so I can understand the consternation
 

RustyRef

Administrator
Staff member
There was a step 5 team on my league that has been known to do that. They sit you right in front of the screen for your post match refreshments too! 😁
I thought it was part of the step 5 ground grading that there had to be a boardroom. I was always more than happy to stay for hospitality when there was a boardroom, but when they said "you'll get your food in the bar" I politely declined.
 
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