self-presentation

Hi guys I’ve been reffing Sunday league for over a year now and still finding pre match talks to managers pretty awkward. All I do is collect team sheets and ask for linesman to be volunteered. Is there anything important I need to do as well and how do I make it less awkward?

Red Number Three slides across the halfway line, carving a rift through the icy layer atop the turf. The Blue centre midfielder topples spectacularly like a felled oak, crashing shoulder-first into the ground with a thud. Multiple, resonant cries of ‘Ref!’ flood Gallin’s ears, but as he winces...

Gallin blows on his whistle and straightens his arm out to the side to signal the direct free-kick. Red Number Six responds by throwing both arms in the air and spinning round to face the referee. ‘What the ****, ref?’ ‘What? I got that right, don’t you think?’ Gallin retorts with a pert smile...

Blue Number Four scoops up the ball and wipes away the moisture in a makeshift pouch in front of his shirt whilst hastily scouting the pitch for an available and well-positioned teammate. Gallin blows again on his whistle. ‘Red throw. It’s red ball,’ he says with some conviction. The spectators...

Twenty-yards from the white line, Gallin snorts a shot of invigorating wintry-fresh air, reviving and stiffening his whole face and covering the walls of his lungs like a frost. He exhales rapidly through pursed lips. His stride becomes more deliberate, injected with a pronounced machismo; long...

Meeting a team manager for the first time was always... interesting. Gallin, over the years, had created his own loose typology based on his encounters. Managers ranged from Perfect Professionals right through to Obstructive Pigs. Gallin’s most loathed manager, however, just had to be the...