The Ref Stop

Open Age First Men's OA

The Ginger Ref

Well-Known Member
Level 7 Referee
After only refereeing Youth games last year, took the plunge and decided to referee Sunday mens this season.

Well that was an experience 👀

If I'm being completely honest, I found this game to be quite challenging—not necessarily because of the refereeing itself (though I don’t think I was great), but due to the constant complaining and nagging from the players, nothing that fell into the dissent category, but just constant questioning and "woe is me" attitude.

I found myself second-guessing my decisions, especially when players went down under pressure from behind or when contesting a high ball. To me, those were fouls every time, even if they seemed "soft" or the player was "looking for it." In my view, a foul is a foul, regardless of how easily the player goes down. I don't feel deceived just because someone hits the ground; as long as there’s sufficient contact/clumsiness, that’s enough for me to make the call. I fully understand that players, especially around the penalty area, are more likely to go down easily, but if a defender challenges for the ball and fails to win it, that’s sufficient grounds for a free kick in my book. Ironically, after calling 6 or 7 of these "soft fouls," both teams seemed to adjust and realise that I was consistently giving them.

One incident that stood out involved a free kick I awarded to the defending team. The defender won the ball with a header, but the attacker leaned into him, sending the defender to the ground. When I called the foul, the attacker complained, saying, "It's shoulder to shoulder." In my opinion, the attacker wasn’t making a legitimate play for the ball—he was just leaning in to disrupt the defender’s ability to head it.

Here are some self-reflections from the game:
  • It definitely didn’t feel like my best performance in the center, I definitely made some errors, but I feel I kept control of the game.
  • I’m not sure if my tolerance for fouls—particularly challenges from behind and hands in the back during headers—is too low, or if the players were just whining. (I'd rather be whistle happy, than allow the game to descend into madness).
  • With about 15 minutes left, the pace of the game slowed down significantly, and so did my movement. (4.80 miles - nothing to compare it with though.)
  • Next time, I might bring earplugs—it felt like I was babysitting toddlers for 90 minutes.
 
The Ref Stop
  • It definitely didn’t feel like my best performance in the center, I definitely made some errors, but I feel I kept control of the game.
You're still relatively new to this and it will take a while to get used to drowning out the noise. You probably feel that way due to the moaning and whining you've described. You will come to realise that every decision you make will as a minimum annoy 11 players and make 11 to them happy. Sometimes it's 12 to 10 and that's usually annoyed to happy. Such is the life of a referee. What's good here is you recognise room for improvement but equally have identified a strength.
  • I’m not sure if my tolerance for fouls—particularly challenges from behind and hands in the back during headers—is too low, or if the players were just whining. (I'd rather be whistle happy, than allow the game to descend into madness).
It doesn't matter where you bar for tolerance sits (see above) what matters is that you are a) consistent and b) have a strategy to bring a game back under control when it threatens to get away from you. If you are already "giving everything" what do you do when you need to slow the game down and take the sting out (there are other ways, just know what they are for you - this is not suggesting you raise your tolerance).
  • With about 15 minutes left, the pace of the game slowed down significantly, and so did my movement. (4.80 miles - nothing to compare it with though.)
Hard to make comparisons - I can do close to 5.5 miles in one game and as low as 4.5 miles on another. You'll start to get a guage on what feels right for the game you reffed, which ultimately dictates how far we travel.
  • Next time, I might bring earplugs—it felt like I was babysitting toddlers for 90 minutes.
Welcome to open age football. 😅 this isn't the first time I have heard/read this exact statement today.
 
Even though it is 27 years ago I can vividly remember my first OA game, I was a bundle of nerves and had a bit of a stinker. I can even remember speaking to a player to tell him he'd be cautioned if he committed another foul, and it somehow came out as "I can only let you have one more of those", which instantly removed any remaining credibility I had. Then a couple of games later I asked the away team where their 11th player was at the start of the second half, to which someone replied "err, you sent him off ref". It is just natural to do strange things when you are nervous.

But I came through it and went on to have a decent refereeing career up to L3, and if someone had told me after that game that I'd be promoted to even L6 I'd have thought they had a screw lose. The key thing is you have come through the game, it hasn't been a disaster, and crucially you kept control of it. Just take your learnings into the next game, it might take as many as 10 OA games to give you enough confidence to think that you are actually quite good and know what you are doing. Think of it as starting a new job, very few new employees come in full of confidence and hit the road running on day 1.
 
I’ve said it before, but it’s always important to repeat. That you’re a member here and engaging with the community and self-analysing stuff puts you above many peers. We’ve all been in the same boat and here is a treasure trove of advice, support and some good-natured ribbing :) onwards and upwards!
 
Today is still Sunday and you will be feeling raw and still processing. Yesterday was only my fifth game, but I have come to think about sleeping on it and then reflecting. I think we forget that our minds are constantly being overworked with split second decision making, our ears are constantly being hit with different opinions/questions/abuse and we are working our bodies all at the same time with that very same mind. Your brain will be tired and shattered. It will be crying for release and for me, mine is usually saying "I really don't want to go through all this again..."

I have come to basically "recover" my senses the next day. Look at what I could have done better and try and bring that into perspective. Looking at what you did wrong ain't going to change it. We're all different, but I hope you take the positives because people will always be throwing negatives at you.
 
My first OA game was yesterday so I'm by no means most qualified to comment but I found just showing confidence in your decision (even if you're actually unsure about it) seemed to help with the loudmouths. Earplugs are a great shout, they will be in my bag next week 🤣
 
I think JamesL made a comment I have never thought about myself. "You're still relatively new to this and it will take a while to get used to drowning out the noise."

I wonder how many comments I just filter out now as expected footballing complaining. When you are new, you probably think if players are upset, you've been rumbled, they know you are a fraud and you must be doing something wrong. But as time goes on, you filter it out.

Had an observation yesterday, one of the captains moaned about everything. Just a constant moaner. Not dissent in my eyes (or ears) even though he was hitting the 2 of the three Ps (Personal, Prolific and Public) . I had a word with him a few times just to stop whinging. But it did nothing.

Observer said there wasn't really an opportunity to sin bin him, as he knew where the line was, so just managing him is all I you could do.
 
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