A&H

First Manager Difficulties

cZulu

New Member
Level 7 Referee
Had my first real difficulties with a manager today. U15s match - a couple of the boys had a few minor "everything is against us, ref!" type comments but I felt that I brought this under my control with a chat or two - and in the main the players were fine for the rest of the game.

However their manager just couldn't let it go. Similar comments and frustrated gestures were constantly coming from the sideline.

We had a chat at halftime and his frustration was clear. I explained that I am making the best decisions that I can and always act fairly to both teams. I also added the context that his team were actually winning fairly comfortably at this point, and finally I asked him to encourage/demonstrate good conduct to his players from now on.

But then, start of the 2nd half the ball is in play and I hear him talking to one of his players on the FOP: "Yeah, this ref hasn't got a clue". This riled me for two reasons:
  1. He was questioning both my ability and integrity as a referee
  2. He was setting a very bad example of conduct to impressionable 14/15yo boys
I knew that this had crossed my own line of acceptability but this is were I admit I wasn't sure whether I needed to stop play because of an off the field verbal offence (?) - so I waited until the next break in play before going over to caution him. This is were he was absolutely apoplectic with anger shouting at me that he didn't agree with my "opinions". The game completed non-eventfully from here.

Being a new ref - this incident, his behaviour and reaction towards me has been playing on my mind since. I'm struggling to think how I should act differently next time something similar starts to boil?
 
The Referee Store
From what you say sounds like you have made the right calls.

Some "coaches" just cant help themselves mate and whatever you say or do they will just carry on until you dismiss them from the field of play.

Dont beat yourself up about it.
 
If you shower him a yellow card and then he commited more dissent, why didn’t you show the red?

SHOWER = SHOWED ;)
 
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Had my first real difficulties with a manager today. U15s match - a couple of the boys had a few minor "everything is against us, ref!" type comments but I felt that I brought this under my control with a chat or two - and in the main the players were fine for the rest of the game.

However their manager just couldn't let it go. Similar comments and frustrated gestures were constantly coming from the sideline.

We had a chat at halftime and his frustration was clear. I explained that I am making the best decisions that I can and always act fairly to both teams. I also added the context that his team were actually winning fairly comfortably at this point, and finally I asked him to encourage/demonstrate good conduct to his players from now on.

But then, start of the 2nd half the ball is in play and I hear him talking to one of his players on the FOP: "Yeah, this ref hasn't got a clue". This riled me for two reasons:
  1. He was questioning both my ability and integrity as a referee
  2. He was setting a very bad example of conduct to impressionable 14/15yo boys
I knew that this had crossed my own line of acceptability but this is were I admit I wasn't sure whether I needed to stop play because of an off the field verbal offence (?) - so I waited until the next break in play before going over to caution him. This is were he was absolutely apoplectic with anger shouting at me that he didn't agree with my "opinions". The game completed non-eventfully from here.

Being a new ref - this incident, his behaviour and reaction towards me has been playing on my mind since. I'm struggling to think how I should act differently next time something similar starts to boil?
Any sanction for the manager? Caution? Was the player sin binned?
 
Happy days,, some benches I faced would have been like a field of buttercups with this new power. Some complete habitual knobsacks
 
He clearly needed the caution. Well done.

Two things you might want to think about for the future (and which are hard to opine about from what you wrote).

Should you have cautioned him sooner? A coach complaining/inferring bias is going to get a caution from me much more quickly than one complaining a bout bad calls.

Should you have tossed him? As I’m picturing what you wrote, I think I would have tossed him. A caution is a warning to stop, not an invitation to scream angrily at me. But hard to tell without being there.
 
Don't be afraid to get rid of a manager who behaves like this. It's harder from this season as you have to caution first, at least unless you decide it is OFFINABUS, but the caution is a useful visible warning and if he continues behaving the same no one will be surprised when he gets removed.

I've found several times in the past that the game has got easier once I've sent the manager away as the constant moaning and shouting rubs off on the players and they follow suit. On a couple of occasions the players have thanked me for getting rid of him …!
 
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