A&H

Guardian Article

RefJef

RefChat Addict
Interesting article (if nothing new) from a young L6 ref:

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/dec/09/football-referees-verbal-abuse?CMP=share_btn_tw

This caught my eye:

At 16 I started officiating regularly in a local men’s Saturday league. The days of youth football and dealing with parents were soon behind me as I began to become more involved in adult matches – a much easier environment in which to referee at a young age

Worth 5 minutes of your time for a quick read
 
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I decided it would cause me more problems sending the manager who was swearing at me to the changing rooms, or to show a card to the players who had been giving me dissent.

And therein lies the problem......weak refereeing.

He's got no one else to blame but himself, for not using the tools given to him to manage the unacceptable behaviour.

But, sadly, he is not alone.......there must be hundreds, if not thousands, of referees doing the same each week......pretending that if they ignore the abuse it will magically all be ok. Either not realising or not caring about the implications it has for their colleagues who follow them and don't ignore it.
Or even worse, who then sit in their car feeling worthless because they know they should have dealt with it but couldn't be bothered.

Sorry...got little or no sympathy for this self inflicted distress. Pulling on the black means that you will be faced with challenging situations and asked to make difficult or unpopular decision, such as dealing with the dissent. If you're not prepared or willing to do this, maybe you should consider doing something else because refereeing may not be for you.
Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's scary. But it is what it is......the longer you leave it before dealing with it, the tougher it will get.
 
But here we have someone who is prepared to admit their failings, and "we" blame him?

Yes, he got it wrong, but the players/manager also got it wrong by hurling abuse at him in the first place.

Earlier this season, I nearly quit refereering - not because of what was happening on the pitch, but because of the intolerance shown by some on this forum. I really did think: "do I want to belong to a community that is so quick to turn on their own when they reach out for help?" The answer is I don't, but the solution I found was to withdraw myself from here more and more, which is a shame as 90% of user are fantastic.

It was/is quite a good article written by a fellow ref, yet the only thing we can say so far is that its his fault he gets abuse?

What about this bit:

I was a child. I had to instigate the removal of an adult who was abusing me to such an extent that I had no choice but to stop the game – I was petrified. Of the 40 people watching the match, not one stepped in to help me. It was as if they had accepted that because I was the referee I should expect to be abused.

quite damning. Perhaps this is where he learned that "doing the right thing" is always the best thing?
 
He is a referee who has chosen to write an article for a national newspaper, bemoaning the amount of abuse referees suffer, yet readily admits that his chosen method for dealing with it was to ignore it rather than use the tools given to him by the LOTG.
And this incident wasn't when he was a child.....it was recent, by his own admission, and he talks about sitting in his car afterwards. So, this is after 7 years of refereeing experience and one promotion.....he still felt it was an acceptable solution to abuse/dissent to do nothing.

Sorry, that is blatantly weak refereeing and not acceptable from someone with that experience. If this happened when he was 14 and just starting out.....totally understandable and I wouldn't be slating them for it.

Referees have the tools and powers to deal with dissent/abuse, and until they start using them effectively nothing is going to change.
 
He is a referee who has chosen to write an article for a national newspaper, bemoaning the amount of abuse referees suffer, yet readily admits that his chosen method for dealing with it was to ignore it rather than use the tools given to him by the LOTG.
And this incident wasn't when he was a child.....it was recent, by his own admission, and he talks about sitting in his car afterwards. So, this is after 7 years of refereeing experience and one promotion.....he still felt it was an acceptable solution to abuse/dissent to do nothing.

Sorry, that is blatantly weak refereeing and not acceptable from someone with that experience. If this happened when he was 14 and just starting out.....totally understandable and I wouldn't be slating them for it.

Referees have the tools and powers to deal with dissent/abuse, and until they start using them effectively nothing is going to change.
You obviously didnt read the article properly. The above quoted text from @RefJef happened when the lad was newly qualified at 14 years of age reffing an u12s game. Its not weak refereeing its a display of appalling moral standards from the abuser and 40 other people who stood by and accepted a fully grown adult hurling abuse at a child.
 
He is a referee who has chosen to write an article for a national newspaper, bemoaning the amount of abuse referees suffer, yet readily admits that his chosen method for dealing with it was to ignore it rather than use the tools given to him by the LOTG.
And this incident wasn't when he was a child.....it was recent, by his own admission, and he talks about sitting in his car afterwards. So, this is after 7 years of refereeing experience and one promotion.....he still felt it was an acceptable solution to abuse/dissent to do nothing.

Sorry, that is blatantly weak refereeing and not acceptable from someone with that experience. If this happened when he was 14 and just starting out.....totally understandable and I wouldn't be slating them for it.

Referees have the tools and powers to deal with dissent/abuse, and until they start using them effectively nothing is going to change.
Sorry misread your post. You were referring to the incident that happened more recently. Apologies.
 
Unfortunately this is a common problem, in that referees receive abuse but rather than deal with it using cards, removals and reports, they choose to vent their anger after the game. Usually this involves emailing the RefsSec, but in this case it has involved telling a national newspaper.

When I was a RefsSec it used to drive me round the bend when referees emailed me after the game to complain about clubs and / or players behaviour, only to then find that they hadn't issues a single card or reported any misconduct. They expected me to deal with it, which I couldn't, yet they had the means available to them during the game but chose not to use them.
 
Some seem to have missed that this referee ignored dissent “for the first time” in seven years of refereeing to see if it can have a different outcome. He is saying not ignoring them never stopped abuse in the past. Yet we find having a go at him easier than supporting him. Yes he may have not handled it right but he deserves better than “you only have yourself to blame”.

“It was as if they had accepted that because I was the referee I should expect to be abused.” How so true. And like @RefJef I think this sentiment is spreading amongst the refereeing community as well. In a recent thread here it was likened to a dog walker should expect to be bitten by dogs.

To the point of the article was about the amount of referee abuse in the game and how it should not be there (as in Rugby) and not about how it should be dealt with. My solution for eliminating abuse is quite simple (implementing it may not be as simple). The FAs can do as many respect campaigns as they like. It will never work long term. The only solution is that they need to instruct referees on EVERY televised game on zero tolerance to dissent. And every referee who doesn’t comply must be demoted. As long as players on televised games can get away with dissent and rushing to referees to protest, grassroots referees have no chance. Almost every EPL penalty decisions is followed by dissent but no yellow cards.
 
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I'll add my two cents (american term) that nobody asked for ;). I have been reading this forum for a while and joined/started posting here recently. I am 47 yrs old and have played for 40 and refereed for 4. I have additionally coached for about 10 yrs. It does seem from reading that you all in the UK deal with more severe abuse than we encounter in the midwestern US but we do certainly get our share. Based upon my observation we are heading down the "abuse spiral" that you all are on with it getting worse if not dealt with. The men's leagues over here that I play in can be mouthy but they all know the game and the limits. They may gripe but tend to stop before the cards come out and when the cards come out. Over here the youth leagues seem to be where we (I mean referees, clubs and leagues) teach players, parents/spectators, coaches what will be tolerated. Unfortunately, we seem to have the same issues. I will come right out and say it and I think we have all done it at times. I have taken more from a coach than I should have. To this day, I am still kicking myself for not tossing him. My son is a player for the same club and I regret not tossing the coach. I instead elected to talk to him and it got better (slightly) but his parents fed off of him and they proceeded to get vocal as well. In hindsight, I regret my failure. That said, my son's club or not, I have less tolerance for coach/player nonsense and let the cards do the talking (in Indiana, USA we issue cards to coaches contrary to the ask, tell, dismiss). Here is where I see the problem over here which I would assume has many parallels over there. I believe that WE ALL own the problem and it will not improve until WE ALL address it (clubs, referees and FA/leagues).

1. There is no push from the clubs to educate parents and coaches - much of their nonsense is due to a lack of appreciation that not all calls get whistled (dubious, trifling, temperature of match, etc), and the referee may have a different OPINION based upon different angle, distance, knowledge of the LOTG
2. Parents and coaches often are operating on a lack of knowledge of the LOTG or OLD knowledge
EXAMPLES - Every handball is not a deliberate handball. Every dynamic collision does not mean there is a foul. There is no right to advantage. Trifling fouls (ITOOTR) might not be called. Often the referee is waiting to see... Getting the ball does not mean that a tackle is always fair. Offside - generally only one person was looking at the 2LD at the exact moment the ball was kicked. The opinion of the referee is what matters, assume you will disagree at some point.
3. Youth referees and new referees tend to work these younger games and are often not confident in their knowledge of the LOTG and reluctant to address the abuse (intimidated, unsure, whatever) or are not sure how to address unruly sidelines
4. Clubs often have conduct policies that they have parents sign but I have NEVER heard of parents being addressed by their clubs. Parents can act like fools and be abusive but are often not banned from successive games.
5. Clubs do not hold their coaches accountable. It is very interesting to see the wide array of coaching conduct within a club when I KNOW what their supposed policy is. Even when addressed by a referee, certain coaches continue unabated due to no club punishment.
6. As referees we too often focus on our "man management" with players and coaches and fail to recognize when the cards should have come out.
7. We additionally have a shortage of referees as many do not stick with it and many youth players/referees quit or don't start refereeing because they don't want to be subjected to the abuse. Note: My teenage son and many of his teammates are referees but most are not active. Most who are active are afraid to center.
8. Our kids (and parents) all watch EPL (other leagues also but mostly EPL) every weekend. More so than our own leagues. They continue to see poor conduct (surrounding, arguing, impeding movement of referee, yelling, gestures, touching, etc.) that goes unpunished despite EPL's initiative to punish this sort of conduct. Grass roots players emulate what they see. Don't even get me going on the flopping

I know there are many more factors. I subscribe to the school of don't come to me with a problem without bringing a solution. Here is where I see possible solutions
Clubs - administrators should discretely watch some of their coaches/fans conduct at the youth levels and address where appropriate. They should also levy severe sanctions on coaches, players, fans who are disciplined/reported by referees. Coaches should be held accountable for their spectators conduct at the youth level CONSISTENTLY. It should not be a coach telling a referee "if you need to kick them out go ahead." It should be "coach, I need you to handle your spectators or this game will not continue. If you need to remove people, please do so." Those individuals then MUST be sanctioned by their club. Clubs must deal with coach conduct severely as well. Their spectators/parents/players are typically a reflection of the coach.
Leagues/FA - Sanctions for clubs whose coaches/spectators are reported. Monetary, loss of points in standings, removal from the league.
Referees - In my state, I believe that we must collectively, consistently and aggressively push to address misconduct. Push the policy to all referees AND STICK TO IT. Gain the clubs' support for measures listed above and then EVERYONE deal with it! Push the policy - Football (soccer) is an emotional game. Fans are there to support/cheer for the players, coaches are their to provide instruction/tactical advise to players. Occasional verbalization of disagreement with a call is understandable BUT when disagreement is loud, persistent, or personal it will be dealt with harshly by the referees. Failure to control/address dissent/abuse may result in abandonment of the contest. Coaches verbalizing disagreement with calls consistently is dissent and is irresponsible. ANYONE who approaches a referee after a game to argue, berate, abuse, threaten will be banned for the season and fines levied against the club. Clubs/teams who repeatedly have this issue may be prohibited from having spectators in future contests. We also need to consistently document in the game report if we have to speak to a coach or address a coach about controlling his spectators. I'm not certain but maybe a less formal rating system grading a team (players, coaches, fans) after every game could help the clubs to address conduct heading off issues before sanctions become necessary?

I would also suggest for the younger youth levels providing more support for younger or inexperienced referees. An observer/experienced official present with the ability to intervene to address abuse if unaddressed by CR. I recognized that ultimately it is the CR who should deal with abuse/irresponsible behavior but we may be able to keep youth/new referees in the profession if we provide support for them, protect them, and teach them how to deal with poor conduct. I know many youth referees who would likely stay with it, if there was a mechanism for me or an adult referee to observe, let them deal with it, but step in to teach them how to deal with it if needed. I believe that this is where some of the inconsistency comes from.


Ultimately, until WE are consistent, Clubs are supportive and consistent, and FA's are consistent, I do not believe we will make much headway. CLUBS and FA's MUST be a part of this effort and they MUST follow through supporting us. If we do not have a sincere and consistent push from all levels (not just referees), I do not see us changing this and we will continue to lose referees, officiating will suffer and the game will suffer. Some of this may not translate to the UK but we are organized into youth recreational (U6-U19), youth travel (U8-U19) which will provide our higher levels of youth competition, adult recreational, adult amateur, lower division professional (NASL, USL, etc.), and professional (MLS). I work predominantly the U15-U19 travel leagues. There are High School and Collegiate level competitions which play in the fall only with players reverting to their club teams for the winter/spring. Our adult amateur leagues are not as developed as they are over there I believe although there are high level adult amateur teams out there.
 
Some seem to have missed that this referee ignored dissent “for the first time” in seven years of refereeing to see if it can have a different outcome. He is saying not ignoring them never stopped abuse in the past. Yet we find having a go at him easier than supporting him. Yes he may have not handled it right but he deserves better than “you only have yourself to blame”.

“It was as if they had accepted that because I was the referee I should expect to be abused.” How so true. And like @RefJef I think this sentiment is spreading amongst the refereeing community as well. In a recent thread here it was likened to a dog walker should expect to be bitten by dogs.

To the point of the article was about the amount of referee abuse in the game and how it should not be there (as in Rugby) and not about how it should be dealt with. My solution for eliminating abuse is quite simple (implementing it may not be as simple). The FAs can do as many respect campaigns as they like. It will never work long term. The only solution is that they need to instruct referees on EVERY televised game on zero tolerance to dissent. And every referee who doesn’t comply must be demoted. As long as players on televised games can get away with dissent and rushing to referees to protest, grassroots referees have no chance. Almost every EPL penalty decisions is followed by dissent but no yellow cards.

So he claims.......but then he goes on to talk about his "high tolerance level"........which in my experience is simply a form of self justification for not dealing with dissent/abuse until it reaches epic proportions, or in same cases, not dealing with it all. Along the same lines as those who trot out the "oh I wasn't offended" card when trying to justify not dealing with OFFINABUS!

I have little doubt that this is a referee who rarely, if ever, cautions for dissent unless he has "warned" players umpteen times or is being observed (and even then probably uses the tolerance level to justify not cautioning to an observer).
 
Listening to some on here you would think if it wasn’t for :poop: referees there would be no abuse. Rubbish. This article highlights an important issue at a national press level. Players/managers/spectators go to far and it should be highlighted and shamed. This guy might be great, he might not be - I’m not going to damn him based on an article. Just thankful he is highlighting a blight on our sport.
 
Listening to some on here you would think if it wasn’t for :poop: referees there would be no abuse. Rubbish. This article highlights an important issue at a national press level. Players/managers/spectators go to far and it should be highlighted and shamed. This guy might be great, he might not be - I’m not going to damn him based on an article. Just thankful he is highlighting a blight on our sport.
I certainly agree that this is a big issue within our sport that goes way beyond something the referees can change solely on our own. I applaud this referee for writing this. As I said above, I know I have regrettably given at least one coach a pass that I regret. It sounds like your games over there tend to be much more volatile/explosive from some of the descriptions. I won't fault the only person who was there (the author). I wasn't there and he was. We should not turn on our own rather we should support each other, learn from each other and work to solve the problem. Cheers :)
 
So he claims.......but then he goes on to talk about his "high tolerance level"........which in my experience is simply a form of self justification for not dealing with dissent/abuse until it reaches epic proportions, or in same cases, not dealing with it all. Along the same lines as those who trot out the "oh I wasn't offended" card when trying to justify not dealing with OFFINABUS!

I have little doubt that this is a referee who rarely, if ever, cautions for dissent unless he has "warned" players umpteen times or is being observed (and even then probably uses the tolerance level to justify not cautioning to an observer).
You may be right you may not be. But you are certainly missing the point of the article. For all I know the author could be a 50 year old journalist who has never refereed a game in his life.
The point of the article is about referee abuse. For any referee to turn this around and make it about weak refereeing and blame it on the referee is disappointing at the very least.
 
I'll add my two cents (american term) that nobody asked for ;). I have been reading this forum for a while and joined/started posting here recently. I am 47 yrs old and have played for 40 and refereed for 4. I have additionally coached for about 10 yrs. It does seem from reading that you all in the UK deal with more severe abuse than we encounter in the midwestern US but we do certainly get our share. Based upon my observation we are heading down the "abuse spiral" that you all are on with it getting worse if not dealt with. The men's leagues over here that I play in can be mouthy but they all know the game and the limits. They may gripe but tend to stop before the cards come out and when the cards come out. Over here the youth leagues seem to be where we (I mean referees, clubs and leagues) teach players, parents/spectators, coaches what will be tolerated. Unfortunately, we seem to have the same issues. I will come right out and say it and I think we have all done it at times. I have taken more from a coach than I should have. To this day, I am still kicking myself for not tossing him. My son is a player for the same club and I regret not tossing the coach. I instead elected to talk to him and it got better (slightly) but his parents fed off of him and they proceeded to get vocal as well. In hindsight, I regret my failure. That said, my son's club or not, I have less tolerance for coach/player nonsense and let the cards do the talking (in Indiana, USA we issue cards to coaches contrary to the ask, tell, dismiss). Here is where I see the problem over here which I would assume has many parallels over there. I believe that WE ALL own the problem and it will not improve until WE ALL address it (clubs, referees and FA/leagues).

1. There is no push from the clubs to educate parents and coaches - much of their nonsense is due to a lack of appreciation that not all calls get whistled (dubious, trifling, temperature of match, etc), and the referee may have a different OPINION based upon different angle, distance, knowledge of the LOTG
2. Parents and coaches often are operating on a lack of knowledge of the LOTG or OLD knowledge
EXAMPLES - Every handball is not a deliberate handball. Every dynamic collision does not mean there is a foul. There is no right to advantage. Trifling fouls (ITOOTR) might not be called. Often the referee is waiting to see... Getting the ball does not mean that a tackle is always fair. Offside - generally only one person was looking at the 2LD at the exact moment the ball was kicked. The opinion of the referee is what matters, assume you will disagree at some point.
3. Youth referees and new referees tend to work these younger games and are often not confident in their knowledge of the LOTG and reluctant to address the abuse (intimidated, unsure, whatever) or are not sure how to address unruly sidelines
4. Clubs often have conduct policies that they have parents sign but I have NEVER heard of parents being addressed by their clubs. Parents can act like fools and be abusive but are often not banned from successive games.
5. Clubs do not hold their coaches accountable. It is very interesting to see the wide array of coaching conduct within a club when I KNOW what their supposed policy is. Even when addressed by a referee, certain coaches continue unabated due to no club punishment.
6. As referees we too often focus on our "man management" with players and coaches and fail to recognize when the cards should have come out.
7. We additionally have a shortage of referees as many do not stick with it and many youth players/referees quit or don't start refereeing because they don't want to be subjected to the abuse. Note: My teenage son and many of his teammates are referees but most are not active. Most who are active are afraid to center.
8. Our kids (and parents) all watch EPL (other leagues also but mostly EPL) every weekend. More so than our own leagues. They continue to see poor conduct (surrounding, arguing, impeding movement of referee, yelling, gestures, touching, etc.) that goes unpunished despite EPL's initiative to punish this sort of conduct. Grass roots players emulate what they see. Don't even get me going on the flopping

I know there are many more factors. I subscribe to the school of don't come to me with a problem without bringing a solution. Here is where I see possible solutions
Clubs - administrators should discretely watch some of their coaches/fans conduct at the youth levels and address where appropriate. They should also levy severe sanctions on coaches, players, fans who are disciplined/reported by referees. Coaches should be held accountable for their spectators conduct at the youth level CONSISTENTLY. It should not be a coach telling a referee "if you need to kick them out go ahead." It should be "coach, I need you to handle your spectators or this game will not continue. If you need to remove people, please do so." Those individuals then MUST be sanctioned by their club. Clubs must deal with coach conduct severely as well. Their spectators/parents/players are typically a reflection of the coach.
Leagues/FA - Sanctions for clubs whose coaches/spectators are reported. Monetary, loss of points in standings, removal from the league.
Referees - In my state, I believe that we must collectively, consistently and aggressively push to address misconduct. Push the policy to all referees AND STICK TO IT. Gain the clubs' support for measures listed above and then EVERYONE deal with it! Push the policy - Football (soccer) is an emotional game. Fans are there to support/cheer for the players, coaches are their to provide instruction/tactical advise to players. Occasional verbalization of disagreement with a call is understandable BUT when disagreement is loud, persistent, or personal it will be dealt with harshly by the referees. Failure to control/address dissent/abuse may result in abandonment of the contest. Coaches verbalizing disagreement with calls consistently is dissent and is irresponsible. ANYONE who approaches a referee after a game to argue, berate, abuse, threaten will be banned for the season and fines levied against the club. Clubs/teams who repeatedly have this issue may be prohibited from having spectators in future contests. We also need to consistently document in the game report if we have to speak to a coach or address a coach about controlling his spectators. I'm not certain but maybe a less formal rating system grading a team (players, coaches, fans) after every game could help the clubs to address conduct heading off issues before sanctions become necessary?

I would also suggest for the younger youth levels providing more support for younger or inexperienced referees. An observer/experienced official present with the ability to intervene to address abuse if unaddressed by CR. I recognized that ultimately it is the CR who should deal with abuse/irresponsible behavior but we may be able to keep youth/new referees in the profession if we provide support for them, protect them, and teach them how to deal with poor conduct. I know many youth referees who would likely stay with it, if there was a mechanism for me or an adult referee to observe, let them deal with it, but step in to teach them how to deal with it if needed. I believe that this is where some of the inconsistency comes from.


Ultimately, until WE are consistent, Clubs are supportive and consistent, and FA's are consistent, I do not believe we will make much headway. CLUBS and FA's MUST be a part of this effort and they MUST follow through supporting us. If we do not have a sincere and consistent push from all levels (not just referees), I do not see us changing this and we will continue to lose referees, officiating will suffer and the game will suffer. Some of this may not translate to the UK but we are organized into youth recreational (U6-U19), youth travel (U8-U19) which will provide our higher levels of youth competition, adult recreational, adult amateur, lower division professional (NASL, USL, etc.), and professional (MLS). I work predominantly the U15-U19 travel leagues. There are High School and Collegiate level competitions which play in the fall only with players reverting to their club teams for the winter/spring. Our adult amateur leagues are not as developed as they are over there I believe although there are high level adult amateur teams out there.
Can you put your two cents in one cent at a time nxet time. I will read it in the bus on the way to work tomorrow when have 45 minutes spare time :)
 
Listening to some on here you would think if it wasn’t for :poop: referees there would be no abuse. Rubbish. This article highlights an important issue at a national press level. Players/managers/spectators go to far and it should be highlighted and shamed. This guy might be great, he might not be - I’m not going to damn him based on an article. Just thankful he is highlighting a blight on our sport.

A blight that is perpetuated by the referees who do nothing when they have the chance....but then choose to whine about it afterwards, whether that is to their RefSec or a national newspaper.
They are part of the problem and should be acknowledged as such, rather than given sympathy.

I certainly agree that this is a big issue within our sport that goes way beyond something the referees can change solely on our own. I applaud this referee for writing this. As I said above, I know I have regrettably given at least one coach a pass that I regret. It sounds like your games over there tend to be much more volatile/explosive from some of the descriptions. I won't fault the only person who was there (the author). I wasn't there and he was. We should not turn on our own rather we should support each other, learn from each other and work to solve the problem. Cheers :)

Totally agree that it is an issue that needs to be address by clubs, the FA, CFA's as well as referees. BUT.....referees have the tools to deal with it already.....those that choose not to use them, can have no complaints when the abuse finally registers with them, or when their own colleagues vilify them for being part of the problem.

You may be right you may not be. But you are certainly missing the point of the article. For all I know the author could be a 50 year old journalist who has never refereed a game in his life.
The point of the article is about referee abuse. For any referee to turn this around and make it about weak refereeing and blame it on the referee is disappointing at the very least.

The point of the article was that a referee suffered dissent/abuse, but chose not to use the tools at his disposal to deal with it, and probably prevent it escalating, instead choosing to lament his experience in a national newspaper.
If, by his own admission, he can't be bothered to do the job properly and deal with it using the tools provided, why should we expect anyone else to do it for us?

It has to start with the referee, you have to use what you have been given to deal with. If that doesn't work, then you can expect other parties to get involved. But as long as referees fail to deal with it in the first instance, we are pissing in the wind trying to get others to take us seriously!
 
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