Junior/Youth speaking to 16+ year olds

[RefereeX]

I try to avoid non-football words or additional talk in youth matches. Dissent is very rare, so low tolerance fits.

Just the facts. I don’t think spending time sweet talking is anyone’s interest. The exception is with a very young player that is hurt/upset - even then, if I say a few kind words, it is part of the segue to the responsible adult.

I find the players at 15-19 mercifully straightforward (and predictable) - it’s the coaches that are hard to handle!

17/18 year olds in England are far from straightforward!

 

[Redref34]

I'm also conflicted that "children" are not behaving like "children".

When i was 16 i wouldn't have spoken to adults or referees like the youth do now.

When you give a bit back suddenly parents and/or players become enraged but don't or cannot see what they have done wrong at all. They're blind of thier own offences.

Makes you wonder what sort of parenting is going on. I fear this decline is nowhere near over yet.

Sad times.

Try being a teacher!

Nothing wrong with what you said in my opinion. Did you put the safety and wellbeing of the child at risk? No.

 

[DazN]

I think I’d be asking exactly what was inappropriate about what I had said.

Maybe she misheard what you said? Her reaction seems out of proportion if not.

 

[lesbobly]

Protzko and Schooler report that since 624 BC people have complained about the decline of the present generation of youth compared to earlier generations. They call this the "kids these days effect"

I love reading people write about the decline of society. Studied it in uni, people have been complaining about the next generation and generally society since at least 624 BC

I guess because it’s been happening a long time doesn’t make any less “true” I guess …

Perception in these “things” often being peoples fact/reality …

It’s a bit like when people argue for “the good old days” … I remind them of scarletina, polio, diphtheria etc which were ALL still prevalent when I was born … good old days?!?! ))))

I think we just have to learn that young adults today have a different view of life to me as an old fart, and ways of expressing themselves … yes we want “standards” but there is no point in hoping/arguing for something that’s no going to happen …

 

[JamesL]

I guess because it’s been happening a long time doesn’t make any less “true” I guess …

Perception in these “things” often being peoples fact/reality …

It’s a bit like when people argue for “the good old days” … I remind them of scarletina, polio, diphtheria etc which were ALL still prevalent when I was born … good old days?!?! ))))

I think we just have to learn that young adults today have a different view of life to me as an old fart, and ways of expressing themselves … yes we want “standards” but there is no point in hoping/arguing for something that’s no going to happen …

Perceptions are also based off what you are exposed to.
These days with social and mainstream media we are exposed to much more than we may have been before and so our perceptions change.
In addition as a race we know more now than we did then too. And we report on more things too. Even the weather is always disclaimed with "since records began".

 

[lesbobly]

Perceptions are also based off what you are exposed to.
These days with social and mainstream media we are exposed to much more than we may have been before and so our perceptions change.
In addition as a race we know more now than we did then too. And we report on more things too. Even the weather is always disclaimed with "since records began".

Yep you are correct … what I was possibly trying to “get at” … we as a society educate our children to “call it out”, in all areas of life … don’t accept the old standards (in the worst case child abuse … that was hidden by society), we want them to speak up for themselves, look out for injustice, report it … just in my head, you fill a young persons head with these admirable qualities but at at tender age and without life experience they don’t always react “correctly” - which is why society differentiates between children and adults …

I try to look at the “problems” in round … it works for me …

 

[Gabriel]

Yep you are correct … what I was possibly trying to “get at” … we as a society educate our children to “call it out”, in all areas of life … don’t accept the old standards (in the worst case child abuse … that was hidden by society), we want them to speak up for themselves, look out for injustice, report it … just in my head, you fill a young persons head with these admirable qualities but at at tender age and without life experience they don’t always react “correctly” - which is why society differentiates between children and adults …

I try to look at the “problems” in round … it works for me …

This also applies to people just a few years apart age wise also. What me and my friends might see as socially acceptable may be very different to someone currently at university, despite the fact that is only a difference of about 2-5 years, depending on how long they have been there for.

 

[lesbobly]

This also applies to people just a few years apart age wise also. What me and my friends might see as socially acceptable may be very different to someone currently at university, despite the fact that is only a difference of about 2-5 years, depending on how long they have been there for.

the good old days are getting shorter apart

 

[Darren83]

I ref the local junior league and most of my games are u15/u16. I prefer to referee the older age groups as there is an expectation from the players when it comes to cautions and sendings off. I feel they are easier to communicate with too

 

[santa sangria]

Yesterday and today I ran the line for top tier U17s - Nordic country, bigish stadia, small crowds, great events. Very ”mature” football, in that the decisions for the referee were a lot like high level mens - football decisions.

My ref yesterday did not communicate so proactively and his decisions were not so well trusted. Today’s ref was an excellent communicator. He had a lot manage, niggly game with a lot of player complaints - but he chose the right moments to ceremonially warn players and took the opportunity to take control of tricky situations in front of the benches. We had comms and he was also very clear in his comments to us ARs about problem players, cumulative offences, borderline SPA etc. Was excellent.