A&H

And i thought last week was interesting.....

mikedn

Referee/Mentor
Today was a League match. U18 Red vs Orange, (refereed orange last week, sent orange player off) So orange player #7 i sent off last week playing today, so i am expecting maybe something so how long? Orange much stronger and quicker and go 2-0 up in five minutes, red fight back, score a goal and go into the break 1-2 down. Game going well orange race into 4-1 lead and for some reason the orange team although winning and completely outplaying the reds start to appeal for everything and argue amongst themselves. Then orange #7 kicks off shouting and whingingat his team mates about not getting the ball i ask him to calm down and he just totally ignores me.
Getting abuse now from his assistant coach, appealing for everything and i ask him to calm down.
Five minutes to go and orange #7 gets tackled loses the ball and turns to me and says "that was a f****** foul, where's my f****** free kick, you useless f****** c***" Well straight red for him (second week on the trot) as he's walking off every other word is f*** and now the assistant coach kicks off, top of his voice lots of swearing and abuse so i send him to the car park. I approach the team manager and ask for his colleague's name and i discover its the orange #7 father........ says it all really. So i walk to the changing rooms and find the home manager shouting at the sent off orange #7 and another team mate... it seems the home manager went to their changing room to congratulate them on their win( nothing wrong with that i thought) but the orange player threatening to punch his lights out.
I calm everything down, take the home manager into my dressing room to calm him down and say to him to put in a report.
I then decide to wait outside the changing rooms to make sure nothing flares up, all the away team/parents etc leave.... peace is restored..... so i leave.....

Reports sent in, and i am looking forward to my Sunday roast..............
 
The Referee Store
Why are you waiting around after a match? Looking for trouble?

Also, you found the home manager shouting at the orange 7....an adult shouting at a child......and you didn't see anything that the home manager has alleged the O7 did before you arrived......but you encourage the home manager to put a report in?
Are you reporting the home manager for shouting at a player?
 
Me looking for trouble ? nah.....
I just arrived at the changing rooms i was catching the tail end of the arguments as the home manager was being led away but i took him into my changing room, and said to be the bigger man and walk away and not get involved etc.etc I am not condoning his attitude, but it was an U18 team (not a child) My word of wisdom to him was he had the option to report the threats he was receiving from the players. I feel i had no grounds to report him as i didn't actually hear anything apart from him saying " nobody talks to me like that"
Also after the melee there were women and children(home side) still present.... and some away players/parents still getting in their cars just some 10-15 yards away, i hoped my presence was enough to deter anything else kicking off.... as soon as all the away lot went i then left..........
 
ignore @Padfoot - he's trying to rile something up that simply isn't there ...

away from the game (handled it perfectly to me) I think you've shown some streetwise thinking - stepped in, seems like you calmed things down a bit, took the manager away and as you said, made him realise that he should just be the bigger person and then advised him what he can do, what's wrong with that?

admittedly I would have probably chuckled to myself, got changed and left - making a mental note of the team and trying to avoid them like the plague in future

but whos to say i'm right and in my actions and your not?

good on you @mikedn
 
Me looking for trouble ? nah.....
I just arrived at the changing rooms i was catching the tail end of the arguments as the home manager was being led away but i took him into my changing room, and said to be the bigger man and walk away and not get involved etc.etc I am not condoning his attitude, but it was an U18 team (not a child) My word of wisdom to him was he had the option to report the threats he was receiving from the players. I feel i had no grounds to report him as i didn't actually hear anything apart from him saying " nobody talks to me like that"
Also after the melee there were women and children(home side) still present.... and some away players/parents still getting in their cars just some 10-15 yards away, i hoped my presence was enough to deter anything else kicking off.... as soon as all the away lot went i then left..........
Why didn't you offer the same advice to the player?
 
Why didn't you offer the same advice to the player?
Agreed....now you have picked a side and alienated the orange 7. You have put yourself in a difficult position because now they say you are pally with the other manager and wee comfy chat with him etc after the match could be seen as favouritism. Whistle blown....into changing room...get changed and get out end off.

You said you heard 'no body talks to me like that' therefore you don't know exactly what was said to him.....dodgy ground and advising one side to put in a report and not offering the same advise to the other team? Sorry but you are picking a side there and showing bias! Imagine the reaction the next time you ref orange? As a coach or manager I would be reporting your actions. Sorry
 
Entitled to your opinion ....... and its sailing over my head........... orange 7 was all fired up and looking for a fight with his co-pilot...... even me,myself, and I am not going to put myself in that position....... i called it as i saw it..... all calmed down,all went home..... no police, no ambulance..... job done..... I would advise to stop looking for ifs and buts Mr Freethinker, stop worrying about what other people think about a decision you might make and upset them. To date (ok its only day after) i've had no email, phone call or even a text from my F.A. regarding that days events.... so to repeat... job done, roll on next Sunday
 
Poor in that you have shown an obvious bias to one team and directly/indirectly alienated another. As for repercussions as Padfoot says poor practice is poor practice and if you get away with it once you will try and do it again. My opinion, and as you add to the catalogue of poor practices of referees your boasts of how you handled the situation reflect poorly on the rest of us.
 
Jesus....that's quite an assumption/accusation to make over an in-the-heat-of-the-moment decision!

I think in the name of absolute and total fairness, it would have been best to eventually give the same advice to both sides of the dispute. But it's clear from the OP that it was the home manager that needed calming down and the away player that was causing a fuss. Top priority at the time was clearly to get the home manager away from the young player - and if you needed to tell him he's able to put in a post-match report in order to help him feel the matter will be dealt with and calm him down in the moment, it's fully justified IMO.

All the OP has done is remind him of an existing disciplinary procedure he already probably knew about. If you then can't find the opposing player to tell him that same thing, that doesn't have any effect whatsoever on that player's ability to actually submit the report. It's a very minor inconsistency that shouldn't make much difference in the end.
 
From the OP.....it was clearly posted with the perspective of "look at me, didn't I do well, please validate my own self congratulation with your plaudits..." with a smattering of "I showed that mouthy young whippersnapper who was boss......so much so, no one dared start anything while I was there..."

My point was that based on what was posted in the OP, the referee has come across a situation where an adult, the home coach, was shouting (a form of abuse) at a youth player (u18 still counts as youth football along with all the safeguarding requirements), but took a sympathetic stance towards the abuser, even to the point of advising them to put a report in......rather than reporting them for abusing a youth player.....or at the very least pointing out their own poor practice towards the player.

Of course, once this inconsistency was raised, the story changes somewhat.....

Also, the idea that a referee will purposely "hang around" after a match, past the point they needed to, in order to stop things kicking off, is absolutely a referee that is looking for trouble.
If it all kicks off, what are you going to do? Rummage in your bag, get your whistle back out, start blowing and hope people take notice? Maybe you'll get in between a couple of people kicking off.....maybe you'll cop a slap for your troubles.......all for a situation that you had absolutely no need to place yourself in.
 
Poor in that you have shown an obvious bias to one team and directly/indirectly alienated another. As for repercussions as Padfoot says poor practice is poor practice and if you get away with it once you will try and do it again. My opinion, and as you add to the catalogue of poor practices of referees your boasts of how you handled the situation reflect poorly on the rest of us.
I think decorum and my old age refrains me in saying to you what i think of that statement..... so i won't
 
From the OP.....it was clearly posted with the perspective of "look at me, didn't I do well, please validate my own self congratulation with your plaudits..." with a smattering of "I showed that mouthy young whippersnapper who was boss......so much so, no one dared start anything while I was there..."

My point was that based on what was posted in the OP, the referee has come across a situation where an adult, the home coach, was shouting (a form of abuse) at a youth player (u18 still counts as youth football along with all the safeguarding requirements), but took a sympathetic stance towards the abuser, even to the point of advising them to put a report in......rather than reporting them for abusing a youth player.....or at the very least pointing out their own poor practice towards the player.

Of course, once this inconsistency was raised, the story changes somewhat.....

Also, the idea that a referee will purposely "hang around" after a match, past the point they needed to, in order to stop things kicking off, is absolutely a referee that is looking for trouble.
If it all kicks off, what are you going to do? Rummage in your bag, get your whistle back out, start blowing and hope people take notice? Maybe you'll get in between a couple of people kicking off.....maybe you'll cop a slap for your troubles.......all for a situation that you had absolutely no need to place yourself in.
Yes I "hung around" for an extra five minutes or so..... like I said originally, just being there still in my " referee kit" so as to stop things kicking off.... nobody got hit,nobody got hurt, nothing happening ........... so yes i would do it again.... what would i do if it kicked off...... probably ring police but i wouldn't turn my back on it..... also like i stated before women and children were still there so i consider myself having a moral responsibility.... would do it again if circumstances dictated....
 
also like i stated before women and children were still there

Mike, whilst I'm certainly not taking sides in this discussion, the one piece where Padders is absolutely right is that anyone who is Under 18 is still (bizarrely) considered a child in a football context. To emphasise this point, on my Supply League (where a small number of Under 18s officiate) we have been clearly directed not to share travel with just an U18 official and to offer those people the chance to change separately if they so desire. So certainly an area to trade very carefully ....
 
Mike, whilst I'm certainly not taking sides in this discussion, the one piece where Padders is absolutely right is that anyone who is Under 18 is still (bizarrely) considered a child in a football context. To emphasise this point, on my Supply League (where a small number of Under 18s officiate) we have been clearly directed not to share travel with just an U18 official and to offer those people the chance to change separately if they so desire. So certainly an area to trade very carefully ....
I appreciate where your coming from there...... whereas i would have no problem going into the players changing room to calm things/offer advice (normally)....but in no way would i do so in the context of potential violence as i stated he and his pal were up for a fight regardless ...
 
Well Gentlemen, i eat humble pie, have emailed the powers to be and have been advised for want of a better word " not to get involved" unless i bear personally witness to any wrongdoings...... so i have been told :-(
 
Well Gentlemen, i eat humble pie, have emailed the powers to be and have been advised for want of a better word " not to get involved" unless i bear personally witness to any wrongdoings...... so i have been told :-(
Well done @mikedn for admitting your mistake and hopefully others will note how to handle a similar situation in future.
 
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